Feeling guilty vs. guilty

Boundaries...How to set them~ Where to draw the line~ When to say "no"~ How much is too much to take on? Helping vs. enabling? Dependent vs. Codependent...I don't know the answers. I wish I did, but I believe God gives us opportunities to practice setting boundaries for ourselves and our families.

Am I the only one who has a hard time saying "no"? My heart is to help everyone, so why isn't it o-kay for me to be 'superwoman': doing it all, being there for everyone, helping anyone who needs something, watching everyone's kids when asked??? I say "no" and I feel bad, yet I am supposed to be taking a healthy stand by saying that two-letter word. Can we all say it together: "NO! NO! NO! NO! and NO!" Did anyone else feel guilty???

There are some things that I do not have a problem refusing to do. As my sister says, "You have no problem telling me 'no'. If you can tell me 'no', you can tell anyone 'no'". I will take the risk of letting you into my head for a moment. Brace yourself...the truth is...I would like to tell everyone 'no' right now. I really do like helping people, but right now, I have so much stuff going on with my own family, that I have no energy for anyone or anything else.

So if I have to set this boundary right now to keep myself healthy, why does it make my heart hurt? Why does it make me feel selfish? Why do I feel so guilty? Why do I have to justify to others that this is what I need to do? Why is it hard for others to accept a simple 'no'?

Guilt trips...Ever heard of them??? I have definitely given them and received them. I can't stand them, yet how many times in my life have I done the same thing? How many times have I gotten myself into a predicament and expected everyone to rush in to fix my 'mess', only to be disappointed because that's not the way life always works. How many times have I become bitter because someone told me 'no'? Yes, guilt trips usually work, but is it worth someone doing something for you out of irritated obligation just because you made him/her feel sorry for you? Ouch!

So, with all this expressed, I guess the real question I have to ask myself is: "Who am I making feel guilty because I expect them to be there for my every whim? What expectations am I putting on the ones I love? Who am I laying guilt trips on because I need an immediate solution? What situation am I "freaking out" about, and seeking a solution from others, where God actually wants to teach me a little patience and dependence upon Him?

I love it when God takes my 'self-pity' and turns it into a teaching lesson! I just realized that this blog post isn't about acts of injustice towards me, it's about my injustice towards others. Who am I making feel guilty right now? It's not about, "poor me- I feel so guilty saying 'no'," but rather "Guilty! I am doing the same thing to a few people in my life right now."

I'm not sure that this is where I was going, but it ended right where it was supposed to. I went all over with my thoughts, so I hope you were able to keep up. Basically, I was going to complain, grumble, and whine, but God showed up and asked me to look at my own reflection. Praise God His love never changes and that He's sooooooo patient with us.

Well...this was all a little weird and awkward, but I know God will use it for His glory. I'm just like you, a simple girl, trying to get through life, one day at a time... Before I close for the night, let me ask you something. Is there someone in your life that you need to let off the hook, and give them a little grace??? I know I do.

Father God~ I thank you that You do not expect me to be perfect. I thank You that You forgive me and give me grace when I do something wrong. Help me to love others the way that You love me, without strings, conditions, or judgments. Help me to define and enforce boundaries in my life, and let me know when it's time for me to step out of 'myself'' into the lives of others. Help me to depend on you to be my 'rescue net', and not others in my life who truly can't fulfill my expectations. Help me not to use and take advantage of the wonderful people you have placed in my life, but show me little ways I can bless them with my heart and the words You have given me. Thank You for taking the time to teach me in the midst of my complaining :) Keep me teachable! In Jesus' Name, Amen~