October 21, 2010

October 18, 2010

Peace, be still...

I choose to trust in the One who gave His life for me. I choose to stand on

Oh ye of little faith...

I have spent the last week with my stomach in knots and my teeth gritted. My faith weakened as I allowed fear to grip my heart. The Dr. took a piece of my bone to biopsy one week ago. He gave me the name of a disorder he was pretty certain I had, and told me that it would require another surgery. I had to wait until today to get the results back... It was a veeeeerrrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyy long week!
I was pretty confident last Monday...
By Saturday evening, I was falling apart!
I was afraid. I felt alone. I had dreams of the doctor telling me I had cancer. I allowed my thoughts to wander to the worst case scenarios. I was angry. I was uptight. Blah, blah, blah.
I finally quit talking to people because I was irritated that I had to retell the story over and over about what was going on. I did NOT want to tell one.more.person.one.more.detail...
Needless to say...
I wasted a week worrying...
and fretting...
over nothing!!!
The results came back this morning, and praise God!!! NOTHING more needs to be done! I do have some mouth thing going on, (with a realllllyyyy long technical name) but unless it decides to grow, I will not need any treatment or surgery. I will have a re-check in 6 months, and after that, once a year.
On the drive home from the clinic, the verse "oh ye of little faith" came to mind. I was afraid of the results. I was afraid that I would sink and not be able to stand. I was afraid that the storm would overtake my comfy little boat and crumble with the waves...
Most of all, I was afraid that Jesus was not big enough to get me through whatever the unknown held. I said I trusted, but when it came down to it, I allowed fear to take over.
Very sobering...
BUT VERY GRATEFUL God came through
despite my lack of faith!
"O ye of little faith"...arise & trust me!!!

Who am I Lord?

1 Chronicles 17:16 Then  King David went in and sat before the Lord, and he said: "Who am I, Lord God, and what is my family, that you...