January 4, 2009

Reflect on the mint green tissue box...

(My mint green tissue box)

Reflect...on God's faithfulness and goodness

  • "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life." Psalm 23:6a
  • "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

 By allowing my mind to wander, financial worries began to creep in...with one thought...then another...then...more.

Instead of taking that first thought captive...or second and so forth, I allowed those thoughts to reflect my God, instead of allowing my God to reflect against my thoughts.

Before long (not long I might add), my thoughts turned into fears. Suddenly, my fears reflected that God was not big enough to provide for my bills, my needs, my gas, etc.

I trust God! I really do. I trust Him for eternity. I trust Him for my health. I trust Him for direction. I trust Him. I do, I do, I do. I trust Him so much with my finances. I really trust Him...so much that...well, sometimes, I make things happen and...take things into my own hands...well...just in case He doesn't...um...provide.

Time and time again, God has totally provided for all my needs. When my kids were little, I ran out of diapers, had no money, so I prayed. By the next needed diaper change, I had a big bag of diapers dropped off on my front porch. Literally! No note and no idea who did it, but God does.

I've driven vehicles until they have literally fallen apart. I've driven to the mechanic's shop to have something repaired, and parts have busted into hundreds of pieces when they go to remove it. They always tell me, "There is no way this vehicle should have driven into this parking lot, let alone keep you going this long." When there's no money, there aren't many options, so I pray for God to keep me going until the money comes in.

I've driven on an empty gas tank for a good week, with a piece of paper over my "low fuel" light because I didn't have money for gas. I would pray for God to make it stretch and then cover the gas gauge, vowing not to weaken my faith by looking at it. When it finally did run out of gas, a lady came up to me, and asked I would be offended if she filled my gas tank.

My kids and I have prayed for food, just to have someone drop off food at our house within the day, including the little "snacky" things they like to eat. Sometimes I only tell God to see how He will provide. My friends and family get annoyed because I don't tell them when I need something: a disconnect notice, no food, low toilet paper, etc. But for me, it spoils the excitement of how God will provide. Some say I'm prideful (which sometimes I am), but most of the time, I just want to see the way that God will provide.

With all these wonderful and amazing ways God provides, you would think that I would totally, 100% trust God with my finances. Right? Well...when I allow my thoughts to wander, when I reflect on my worries, when I allow my thoughts to turn into fears, when I allow my fears to reflect the size of my God, well...I get in a tizzy about my finances.

It doesn't happen too much, but when it does, I feel like I have to find a way to provide for my needs, instead of waiting, taking matters into my own hands. I know when I am doing this, I am not trusting God. I know if I wait, God ALWAYS comes through! Yet, if my thoughts reflect on the doubts, and fears, this is where my mind goes.

I started to worry about food. I knew I couldn't even put food in my budget because my bills were so much this month. The only thing I could do was to trust God to provide, or take money from another bill to buy some food.

"Yes, I am totally going to trust God. I really am. He's provided before. But what if he doesn't? What will I make for meals? What do I tell my kids? I don't have much milk...or bread...or much fridge food. Oh, but I am going to trust God. I am. I am. I am...But...what if...but...what if...I run out...what if...yes, I have to go buy food myself. That's what I'll do. God might come too late. I'll make up that bill later...Sorry God, but I gotta' take care of myself."

There is something totally wrong with that scenario! Unfortunately, God hears similar conversations like that all the time. When our thoughts reflect fears, we can't trust.

Anyway, I went to the store, bought $40 of food and toilet paper, etc. I also bought a box of Kleenex's. I normally do not splurge on this item, but rather deal with a roll of toilet paper sitting on my counter to take care of the nose "drippies". (sorry! This story does have a point. I promise, I am almost done.)

Okay, so I chose a pretty mint green box. The color just stood out, and I thought it was pretty. I check out, go home, put my food away, and within the hour, I had a knock on my door. My precious friend was standing at the door with 4 or 5 bags of food, about the same amount of bags I c0me home from the store with.

Immediately, I felt...a repentance session coming on.

We talked. I shared my story with her about me not trusting. She left. I put groceries away. Had my talk with God, repenting for my lack of faith, and went to bed.

In the morning, I was just in awe. I noticed how I suddenly had duplicates of everything. The things she bought for my family were similar to the items I bought for myself only a couple hours before she showed up. God is good. God is still faithful. God still provides.

I looked on top of the fridge and there sat a mint green, pretty box of kleenex's; however they were not the ones I purchased.

It was the box my friend picked up for me...

I chuckled...

...and God spoke gently to me and said..."I even got the mint green, pretty ones you liked..."

I just love God, and today, I reflect once again on His goodness and faithfulness!

  • "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life." Psalm 23:6a
  • "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23
~Wiping my grateful tears with my mint green, pretty box of tissues~


The Rigelsky Family said...

Never ever ever stop writing. I am inspired every single time I read your posts!!!!

Kelly said...

That is the most incredible story! I love God like that. But I also want to remind you of a story I once heard.

A flood is coming and so the police go through telling everyone to leave, but this gal says "God will save me."

Then the floor comes and fire dept comes through on a boat and says get in, but the gal say "God will save me."

The flood rises and the gal in on her roof and the coast guard comes by helicopter and says "Get in." And she says God will save me.

She drowns and goes to heaven and says "God, why didn't you save me?" And God says "I sent the police, the fire department and the coast guard!"

In other words, lean on your friends sometimes too. God will bail you out, but he also gives you friends to help you out.

I loved your post today, and I enjoy the heck out of your comments at MY ADHD ME's blog!!!

Heaven said...

CK- That is too funny!!! My friend and sister tell me that story all the time! Nothing like a word from God.

betty said...

a great testimony to the faithfulness of our Lord and how he provides each and every single need we have!! My biggest worry is my son (19 years old) and his safety because he has this knack of doing stupid things like some teens do; but time after time the Lord has kept him safe even under the most remarkable of things; I've learned to just trust in Him since he does know best and to try to capture those thoughts too before they get out of control

great entry!


Edie said...

This is a great story Heaven. I'm in a place of extreme trusting too. God has not failed me and I know He won't. He is the Great I AM.

Mrs.Naz@BecomingMe said...

What a sweet, sweet story. God provides in so so many ways and often that is through the Body of Christ.

Emily said...

God works in wonderful ways. I loved reading your story!

Anonymous said...

"I trust God! I really do. I trust Him for eternity. I trust Him for my health. I trust Him for direction. I trust Him. I do, I do, I do. I trust Him so much with my finances. I really trust Him...so much that...well, sometimes, I make things happen and...take things into my own hands...well...just in case He doesn't...um...provide."

Oh my...how many times has my internal dialogue sounded exactly the same?

God is good, it's up to me to remember that.

Greg C said...

I too trust in God, but I also trust in the instincts that God gave me. Sometimes I feel like waiting on God to bail me out but then I know of a way to do it myself and since I am a child of God I think I am doing the right thing. Did that make any sense? Anyway I liked the post and love that you shared it with us. I kind of look at it this way. I give it my best shot and I know that when I fail he will be there to watch my back.

Leaon Mary said...

Hi God's Girl!

I hope I never forget that BEAUTIFULGREEN box of kleenex. Part of me wants to cry and borrow one of your kleenex,and the other part is cheering!
I need to trust Him more....
This made me remember once when God gave me favor for a hearts desire* I'd seen a "Jessica Holbrook" suede jacket, and loved it but we didn't have $ to splurge on something like that. One morning I was cleanin my closet and found a 5.00 bill in an old purse. I was thrilled; coz I was going to the thrift shop later that day. When I got there, I found THEE brown suede Jessica Holbrook jacket' I'd had my eye on IN THE THRIFT SHOP. (No price tag.) It looked brand new. I asked the clerk how much it was,... and it was 5 bucks! ;) GOD'S SO GOOD!!!
Have a great night... I really enjoyed my visit here, and love reading your comments over at MYADHD ME's!

Anonymous said...

You are such a dork... You of all people know God Always provides... KEY WORD... ALways... You are my living example of How God in the flesh provides.. When I talk to non believers YOU ALWAYS come up.. Before I went to that First Tom Stammon meeting I was right there with all my non believing friends... Yeah right god gave you diapers. godfilled your tank. god this god that... I had to SEE to believe not believe to see... Your faith is amazing and yeah your not perfect but you have never went without anything well important except that one time when I couldn't get ahold of you cuz lack of phone LOL just kiddin... You are a miracle and so are your kids. The thing that still amazes is me is that no matter how much you screw up God still never leaves you yet you contiue to doubt... I no longer ever worry about you... If your phone gets disconnected its okay now i DON'T FREAK... iF YOUR GAS GETS SHUT OFF i KNOW YOU WON'T STARVE.. AND IF YOU BREAK DOWN EVEN IN THE COLD I know you won't be stranded... I also know that no matter how much i offer you I know you will still leave garbage in my van and not take it with you... I love you and WHEN I look at you and see how far you have come and how you rely less on the wprld and more on GOD I am happy.... God made us sisters hearts made us friends....

Heaven said...

It's a good thing you're my sister, little anonymous girl:) You really should get a blog. You're precious and I love you!!! And for the garbage thing, that's what friends are for: to leave pieces of ourselves behind:) lol

Who am I Lord?

1 Chronicles 17:16 Then  King David went in and sat before the Lord, and he said: "Who am I, Lord God, and what is my family, that you...