June 3, 2010
May 28, 2010
$20.00 TOO much!!!
I have an awesome, rockin' story of
God blessing obedience!!!
In the beginning of this year,
God gave me a word.
OBEDIENCE!
This was to be a year of obedience.
Despite the outlook.
Regardless of the outcome,
I was simply to be obedient.
Sure, I can be obedient.
Sounded easy enough.
Not a problem.
In my head, I knew I would
have to sacrifice a little, and say "Yes"
to some things and "No" to other things.
I did NOT realize God wanted me
to obey in the little things!
I did NOT realize that meant
to put the cart away
INSIDE THE STORE
when I was done with it.
I did NOT realize that meant
to close my mouth
when I would have preferred
to shout very loudly!
I did NOT realize that meant
I had to go back to the CORRECT
food isle in the grocery store
to put away the item(s) I decided
I did NOT need after all!
Last week, my checking account was overdrawn because of an automatic withdrawal I was not prepared for. I had $1.41 in my account, and all of my transactions were clear. So when I got the overdraft notice, I freaked! I had nothing out there to withdraw it. After I checked my online statement, I realized a book club I belonged to sent out a shipment of books because I thought, "I'll reply to that email later!!!"
Um...I forgot to respond to that email to tell them,
"No Thank You, Please do not send anything at this time."
My bank was SO kind to cover that transaction of some $30 amount, leaving my bank account overdrawn! Ugh!!! I called the book company and they were SO kind to already have shipped my order! Ahhhh, That was so sweet. Of course, I am not very wealthy (yet!!!!!), so I had to leave my account overdrawn because I could not do anything about it. In the meantime, not only did my package of books come, but so did my overdraft fee of $35.00! So now, I have books I did not order (forgot to respond to!), and -$76.41 in the bank.
"God...........seriously???"
I sent the books back, and when I checked my account last night, the amount was credited back to my account, so now I was only -$36.41, instead of -$76.41.
MY $1.41 + $35.00 overdraft fee
(which again was from the books I never ordered,
and now that money was back in my acct.)
Have I lost you yet?????
I get my (long-awaited) financial aid check last night, went to the bank, & deposited it all, but $100.00. It would take until late Friday night to clear, so the funds would not be available until Saturday. Not a problem! I can at least get food, gas, etc.
I made TWO stops!!!
For whatever reason, I paid attention to the kind of currency I was getting back in change. I get home, re-count my money, and either my brain was fried from the week's stress, or....I had way toooooo much money! After 1 1/2 hours of counting, figuring, checking receipts, counting again, doing all the math....I knew without a doubt that the bank gave me $20.00 too much.
Two years ago, I would have said,
"WOO HOO! God blessed me with extra money!!!"
(Not sure HOW I ever justified that one!!!)
I called the bank this morning, KNOWING they gave me an extra $20.00 bill (but still doubting if my calculations were right or if I was working on a "fried brain" and just was not getting it!)
"Um...I think _______ gave me too much money."
"Oh........what do you mean?"
I explained the situation, the teller still seemed unsure if she was talking to someone with a "fried brain" because I am sure she does not get many calls like that. I had to tell her again what I was calling for.
"Will you please just check if_______ came up short last night?"
"Um...sure...please hold..."
"hum-de-dum-dum-de-hum-hu....."
"Yes, actually she was exactly $20.00 short!"
THANK YOU GOD my brain wasn't fried!!!
"Ok, I will be in shortly to return it."
Click.
I show up at the bank.
Announce my name & why I am there.
The bank manager comes to talk to me.
She thanks me profusely for returning the $20.
And then she TOTALLY rocked my day!!!!!!!!
"Ma'm, I want to reward your honesty.
Because you brought back this $20, I am
going to reverse the $35 overdraft fee that
was charged to your account."
SERIOUSLY?????????
WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!
I had $1.41 in my account!!!!!!!
I was SOOOOOOO excited!!!!
GOD ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God blessing obedience!!!
In the beginning of this year,
God gave me a word.
OBEDIENCE!
This was to be a year of obedience.
Despite the outlook.
Regardless of the outcome,
I was simply to be obedient.
Sure, I can be obedient.
Sounded easy enough.
Not a problem.
In my head, I knew I would
have to sacrifice a little, and say "Yes"
to some things and "No" to other things.
I did NOT realize God wanted me
to obey in the little things!
I did NOT realize that meant
to put the cart away
INSIDE THE STORE
when I was done with it.
I did NOT realize that meant
to close my mouth
when I would have preferred
to shout very loudly!
I did NOT realize that meant
I had to go back to the CORRECT
food isle in the grocery store
to put away the item(s) I decided
I did NOT need after all!
Last week, my checking account was overdrawn because of an automatic withdrawal I was not prepared for. I had $1.41 in my account, and all of my transactions were clear. So when I got the overdraft notice, I freaked! I had nothing out there to withdraw it. After I checked my online statement, I realized a book club I belonged to sent out a shipment of books because I thought, "I'll reply to that email later!!!"
Um...I forgot to respond to that email to tell them,
"No Thank You, Please do not send anything at this time."
My bank was SO kind to cover that transaction of some $30 amount, leaving my bank account overdrawn! Ugh!!! I called the book company and they were SO kind to already have shipped my order! Ahhhh, That was so sweet. Of course, I am not very wealthy (yet!!!!!), so I had to leave my account overdrawn because I could not do anything about it. In the meantime, not only did my package of books come, but so did my overdraft fee of $35.00! So now, I have books I did not order (forgot to respond to!), and -$76.41 in the bank.
"God...........seriously???"
I sent the books back, and when I checked my account last night, the amount was credited back to my account, so now I was only -$36.41, instead of -$76.41.
MY $1.41 + $35.00 overdraft fee
(which again was from the books I never ordered,
and now that money was back in my acct.)
Have I lost you yet?????
I get my (long-awaited) financial aid check last night, went to the bank, & deposited it all, but $100.00. It would take until late Friday night to clear, so the funds would not be available until Saturday. Not a problem! I can at least get food, gas, etc.
I made TWO stops!!!
For whatever reason, I paid attention to the kind of currency I was getting back in change. I get home, re-count my money, and either my brain was fried from the week's stress, or....I had way toooooo much money! After 1 1/2 hours of counting, figuring, checking receipts, counting again, doing all the math....I knew without a doubt that the bank gave me $20.00 too much.
Two years ago, I would have said,
"WOO HOO! God blessed me with extra money!!!"
(Not sure HOW I ever justified that one!!!)
I called the bank this morning, KNOWING they gave me an extra $20.00 bill (but still doubting if my calculations were right or if I was working on a "fried brain" and just was not getting it!)
"Um...I think _______ gave me too much money."
"Oh........what do you mean?"
I explained the situation, the teller still seemed unsure if she was talking to someone with a "fried brain" because I am sure she does not get many calls like that. I had to tell her again what I was calling for.
"Will you please just check if_______ came up short last night?"
"Um...sure...please hold..."
"hum-de-dum-dum-de-hum-hu....."
"Yes, actually she was exactly $20.00 short!"
THANK YOU GOD my brain wasn't fried!!!
"Ok, I will be in shortly to return it."
Click.
I show up at the bank.
Announce my name & why I am there.
The bank manager comes to talk to me.
She thanks me profusely for returning the $20.
And then she TOTALLY rocked my day!!!!!!!!
"Ma'm, I want to reward your honesty.
Because you brought back this $20, I am
going to reverse the $35 overdraft fee that
was charged to your account."
SERIOUSLY?????????
WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!
I had $1.41 in my account!!!!!!!
I was SOOOOOOO excited!!!!
GOD ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 27, 2010
You lied!!!
"YOU LIED TO ME!!!"
my 10-year old recently screamed at me.
In his eyes, I let him down.
In his eyes, I kept something from him.
In his eyes, I broke my promise.
I recently screamed the same thing to God.
"GOD, YOU LIED TO ME!!!!"
In my eyes, He "toyed" with my emotions.
In my eyes, He let me down.
In my eyes, He broke His promise.
That may not be "The Truth..."
but in the moment, it seemed like reality.
"God is not a man that He should lie!"
Numbers 23:19
...But in the moment, it felt like God lied!
...In the moment, Dylan's reality was that I lied to him!
In Dylan's moment, I KNEW what was best for him. I knew what he could and what he could not handle. I knew that the original plans had to be changed because he was not ready to face that outing. There were so many other things happening that he could not see, and I could not even begin to explain the reasons to him...
God sees way beyond what you or I can possibly see. He knows every detail going on. He knows the timing for everything. He knows what we can handle and what we cannot handle. He knows every step that has to happen in order for everything to happen. There are things so complex that He cannot even begin to explain to us because we could not even understand...
After Dylan was done being mad at me,
he embraced me, and told me he loved me...
I told him ...
"Sometimes you just have to trust mommy.
You did nothing wrong, but to put you
in that situation would have set you
up for failure...and I love you TOOOOOO
much to do that to you. I know it hurts,
but know I love you soooooooo much!!!"
How much more does our
Heavenly Father protect & love us???
my 10-year old recently screamed at me.
In his eyes, I let him down.
In his eyes, I kept something from him.
In his eyes, I broke my promise.
I recently screamed the same thing to God.
"GOD, YOU LIED TO ME!!!!"
In my eyes, He "toyed" with my emotions.
In my eyes, He let me down.
In my eyes, He broke His promise.
That may not be "The Truth..."
but in the moment, it seemed like reality.
"God is not a man that He should lie!"
Numbers 23:19
...But in the moment, it felt like God lied!
...In the moment, Dylan's reality was that I lied to him!
In Dylan's moment, I KNEW what was best for him. I knew what he could and what he could not handle. I knew that the original plans had to be changed because he was not ready to face that outing. There were so many other things happening that he could not see, and I could not even begin to explain the reasons to him...
God sees way beyond what you or I can possibly see. He knows every detail going on. He knows the timing for everything. He knows what we can handle and what we cannot handle. He knows every step that has to happen in order for everything to happen. There are things so complex that He cannot even begin to explain to us because we could not even understand...
After Dylan was done being mad at me,
he embraced me, and told me he loved me...
I told him ...
"Sometimes you just have to trust mommy.
You did nothing wrong, but to put you
in that situation would have set you
up for failure...and I love you TOOOOOO
much to do that to you. I know it hurts,
but know I love you soooooooo much!!!"
How much more does our
Heavenly Father protect & love us???
I cannot do it...
What I felt...
God broke my heart!
How that affected me...
Unforgiveness!
Bitterness!
Isolation!
Depression!
Anxiety Attacks!
Emergency room visits!
What's the truth...
God is faithful!
God loves me!
God protects me!
God cherishes me!
God delights in me!
God is the most stable person I have!
God does NOT play with my emotions!
God has better for me than I can imagine!
God is Holy and Just!
He is my Best Friend!
He CHOSE me even when I told Him off!
He does not love me as I love others!
His love is NOT conditional!
He sees my future & knows what I need!
He takes me back even....
after I blame Him for my heartbreak!
He wipes away my tears!
He takes my anxiety and chest pain...
and offers me peace.
He makes my path straight...
even after I threw a fit.
He applies perfect medicine to my wounds.
He is Truth!
He is Life!
He is Healer!
I need Him!
I forgive Him!
even though He has done nothing wrong!
He says, "I'm sorry for your pain...
I know you feel I caused it...
and I'm sorry for that.
Let me show you that I am
for you...NOT against you.
Trust me, let me hold your heart!
Let me hold you...
Let me heal your wounds...
Let me stroke your face &
show you my love for you.
Run to me, Heaven, run to me.
I'm here to embrace you...
if you'll let me.
I'll walk beside you...
I'll even carry you when you're too tired.
Just come to me...
One day you'll see...
even though right now you can't.
I know the pain is deep.
I know you're angry...
but let me show you...
Let me love you...
---------------------------------------
Despite what my feelings dictate...
I know God is the only one who
can help me right now...
He IS the Author of my life &
STILL holds the blueprint to my life!
So I run to Him again today...
...because
...I cannot do another day
without Him.
...I cannot do another emergency room
visit just to have them tell me I'm
having anxiety attacks, not a heart attack.
...I cannot simply "exist" just one more day!
...I want to "live" & "love again"!
...as I have shut Him and everyone else
out of my life, I am drowning in loneliness,
bitterness, and heart-wrenching pain!
So God...
without YOU...
I cannot live one more day!!!
I am willing to try this again...
because You are my only hope!
You are my eternal strength!
I cannot make it without YOU!
God broke my heart!
How that affected me...
Unforgiveness!
Bitterness!
Isolation!
Depression!
Anxiety Attacks!
Emergency room visits!
What's the truth...
God is faithful!
God loves me!
God protects me!
God cherishes me!
God delights in me!
God is the most stable person I have!
God does NOT play with my emotions!
God has better for me than I can imagine!
God is Holy and Just!
He is my Best Friend!
He CHOSE me even when I told Him off!
He does not love me as I love others!
His love is NOT conditional!
He sees my future & knows what I need!
He takes me back even....
after I blame Him for my heartbreak!
He wipes away my tears!
He takes my anxiety and chest pain...
and offers me peace.
He makes my path straight...
even after I threw a fit.
He applies perfect medicine to my wounds.
He is Truth!
He is Life!
He is Healer!
I need Him!
I forgive Him!
even though He has done nothing wrong!
He says, "I'm sorry for your pain...
I know you feel I caused it...
and I'm sorry for that.
Let me show you that I am
for you...NOT against you.
Trust me, let me hold your heart!
Let me hold you...
Let me heal your wounds...
Let me stroke your face &
show you my love for you.
Run to me, Heaven, run to me.
I'm here to embrace you...
if you'll let me.
I'll walk beside you...
I'll even carry you when you're too tired.
Just come to me...
One day you'll see...
even though right now you can't.
I know the pain is deep.
I know you're angry...
but let me show you...
Let me love you...
---------------------------------------
Despite what my feelings dictate...
I know God is the only one who
can help me right now...
He IS the Author of my life &
STILL holds the blueprint to my life!
So I run to Him again today...
...because
...I cannot do another day
without Him.
...I cannot do another emergency room
visit just to have them tell me I'm
having anxiety attacks, not a heart attack.
...I cannot simply "exist" just one more day!
...I want to "live" & "love again"!
...as I have shut Him and everyone else
out of my life, I am drowning in loneliness,
bitterness, and heart-wrenching pain!
So God...
without YOU...
I cannot live one more day!!!
I am willing to try this again...
because You are my only hope!
You are my eternal strength!
I cannot make it without YOU!
May 22, 2010
The Climb...
I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause ...
(The Climb by Miley Cyrus)
May 20, 2010
Stand...
There are things I want answers to.
I want the "why's" & the "how's".
I know I shouldn't, but I do.
I want to understand.
I want resolution...
The secret things belong to the LORD our God,
but the things revealed belong to us
and to our children forever...
Deuteronomy 29:29
--------------------------------------------------
I want to move forward,
but I still feel stuck.
I feel like I'm not moving,
and if I am, surely not very fast.
We are hard pressed on every side,
but not crushed; perplexed,
but not in despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned;
struck down, but not destroyed.
2 Corinthians 4:8-9
---------------------------------------------------
I want a life free of worries & cares,
yet I have not perfected that yet.
I want my heart to stop hurting,
& seriously, just-move-on-already.
Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you.
Psalm 55:22a
-------------------------------------------------
I want to wake up and feel great,
not just for an hour, but all day.
I want to feel joy again,
please, please, please.
...for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
Nehemiah 8:10b
------------------------------------------------
I want to quit being tired all the time,
and have energy to live my life.
I want to run away & hide,
yet that doesn't work very well.
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run,
but only one gets the prize?
Run in such a way as to get the prize.
1 Corinthians 9:24
----------------------------------------------
I'm not very encouraging lately,
but I want to be.
I just can't seem to "get over it",
like everyone tells me to.
So.........
I pray.
I cry.
I praise.
I stand.
I STAND.
I STAND!!!
Therefore put on the full armor of God,
so that when the day of evil comes,
you may be able to stand your ground,
and after you have done everything, to stand.
Ephesians 6:13
--------------------------------------------
For whatever reason, today.....
that is all I can do.
I'm not standing very tall,
but I feel God holding me up.
With Him...
life is still better...
than WITHOUT Him!
I want the "why's" & the "how's".
I know I shouldn't, but I do.
I want to understand.
I want resolution...
The secret things belong to the LORD our God,
but the things revealed belong to us
and to our children forever...
Deuteronomy 29:29
--------------------------------------------------
I want to move forward,
but I still feel stuck.
I feel like I'm not moving,
and if I am, surely not very fast.
We are hard pressed on every side,
but not crushed; perplexed,
but not in despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned;
struck down, but not destroyed.
2 Corinthians 4:8-9
---------------------------------------------------
I want a life free of worries & cares,
yet I have not perfected that yet.
I want my heart to stop hurting,
& seriously, just-move-on-already.
Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you.
Psalm 55:22a
-------------------------------------------------
I want to wake up and feel great,
not just for an hour, but all day.
I want to feel joy again,
please, please, please.
...for the joy of the LORD is your strength.
Nehemiah 8:10b
------------------------------------------------
I want to quit being tired all the time,
and have energy to live my life.
I want to run away & hide,
yet that doesn't work very well.
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run,
but only one gets the prize?
Run in such a way as to get the prize.
1 Corinthians 9:24
----------------------------------------------
I'm not very encouraging lately,
but I want to be.
I just can't seem to "get over it",
like everyone tells me to.
So.........
I pray.
I cry.
I praise.
I stand.
I STAND.
I STAND!!!
Therefore put on the full armor of God,
so that when the day of evil comes,
you may be able to stand your ground,
and after you have done everything, to stand.
Ephesians 6:13
--------------------------------------------
For whatever reason, today.....
that is all I can do.
I'm not standing very tall,
but I feel God holding me up.
With Him...
life is still better...
than WITHOUT Him!
May 13, 2010
Draw nearer to Him
keep fighting
keep standing tall
keep on...
keeping on
when the road
may get tough
as it sometimes may
just keep leaning
on Jesus
he WILL pave the way
the cares of this day
may seem too much
but God has a plan
& your heart
He WILL touch
don't be afraid
or dismayed if you will
for your Father
in heaven
has the answers
the storm He will still
press on my precious friend
we're almost to the end
for your rainbow is coming
just draw nearer to Him!
keep standing tall
keep on...
keeping on
when the road
may get tough
as it sometimes may
just keep leaning
on Jesus
he WILL pave the way
the cares of this day
may seem too much
but God has a plan
& your heart
He WILL touch
don't be afraid
or dismayed if you will
for your Father
in heaven
has the answers
the storm He will still
press on my precious friend
we're almost to the end
for your rainbow is coming
just draw nearer to Him!
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