January 3, 2019

TV, puzzle books, and Mahjong

My new job requires me to stay awake all night. This means I have lots of time to think while the rest of the world sleeps.

I am working in someone's home, so I bring things to do to keep me busy (and awake!)

I work 9pm-6am. I go home and take my youngest son to work at 6:30. Then I come home and sleep until 2:00pm when I take my oldest son to work. I come home and try to sleep for a couple hours before I pick my youngest son up from work at 5:00pm. Then I get to do it all over again at 9:00pm. Thankfully, I only have to do this 3 nights a week! It has been an adjustment for sure.

At home, I don't watch TV. I watch Netflix, but not regular TV. Tonight I have been watching a marathon of "My 600 pound life". This show always gets to me and makes me think about my own eating habits. Food has definitely been a coping mechanism in my life. I'm glad that God has been working in my life regarding this.

I've also been doing puzzle books. Word fill-ins to be exact. This is so relaxing for me.  I used to do it a lot, but over the years, I just quit doing them.  There is a part of me that thinks "doing nothing" is unproductive. I have a hard time just relaxing. I have enjoyed this mindless activity, except it makes me think hard, so I guess it's not really mindless.  

When I start to get tired, I come to my laptop and play Mahjong. It's a matching card game.  I've gotten pretty quick at solving a puzzle. It keeps my mind sharp and quick. It's another "doing nothing" activity that I have to learn to do.

I think God is using this job to teach me to relax. I only have to check on my client every couple hours, so I have to find things to keep myself occupied.  I don't know when I started believing the lie that I can not do "nothing" and just relax. Always stay busy. Be productive. Have a purpose. There's always something stopping me from just "being". 

It still feels a little odd to watch TV and do my puzzle book and play my computer game, but part of it feels good.  I look forward to how this job changes my outlook on life.

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