Resting...

At the cross I found...

Redemption & Grace...

...my past erased...

...Jesus whispering my name...

He took away my shame...

I want to touch you!

This is a drawing I did in February of 2003. It was a time when
life really was not good, yet I
chose to run to the cross and
lean on my Savior.

I was going to do a post to go along with my January 1st post, but today, I just want to reflect on Jesus.

I want to lie my head on Him and rest. I want to go back and touch Him. I want to relax in His arms and listen to the sound of His heart beating my name. I want to hear Him tell me that I am a beautiful princess and that He loves me just the way I am...flawed and all...knowing I will sin again tomorrow. I want to see His eyes as He adores me. Tonight, I just want to meet with the Lover of my soul...

(Maybe this does fit in with my January 1st post)

~In His arms

Reflect on the mint green tissue box...

(My mint green tissue box)

Reflect...on God's faithfulness and goodness

• "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life." Psalm 23:6a
• "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

 By allowing my mind to wander, financial worries began to creep in...with one thought...then another...then...more.

Instead of taking that first thought captive...or second and so forth, I allowed those thoughts to reflect my God, instead of allowing my God to reflect against my thoughts.

Before long (not long I might add), my thoughts turned into fears. Suddenly, my fears reflected that God was not big enough to provide for my bills, my needs, my gas, etc.

I trust God! I really do. I trust Him for eternity. I trust Him for my health. I trust Him for direction. I trust Him. I do, I do, I do. I trust Him so much with my finances. I really trust Him...so much that...well, sometimes, I make things happen and...take things into my own hands...well...just in case He doesn't...um...provide.

Time and time again, God has totally provided for all my needs. When my kids were little, I ran out of diapers, had no money, so I prayed. By the next needed diaper change, I had a big bag of diapers dropped off on my front porch. Literally! No note and no idea who did it, but God does.

I've driven vehicles until they have literally fallen apart. I've driven to the mechanic's shop to have something repaired, and parts have busted into hundreds of pieces when they go to remove it. They always tell me, "There is no way this vehicle should have driven into this parking lot, let alone keep you going this long." When there's no money, there aren't many options, so I pray for God to keep me going until the money comes in.

I've driven on an empty gas tank for a good week, with a piece of paper over my "low fuel" light because I didn't have money for gas. I would pray for God to make it stretch and then cover the gas gauge, vowing not to weaken my faith by looking at it. When it finally did run out of gas, a lady came up to me, and asked I would be offended if she filled my gas tank.

My kids and I have prayed for food, just to have someone drop off food at our house within the day, including the little "snacky" things they like to eat. Sometimes I only tell God to see how He will provide. My friends and family get annoyed because I don't tell them when I need something: a disconnect notice, no food, low toilet paper, etc. But for me, it spoils the excitement of how God will provide. Some say I'm prideful (which sometimes I am), but most of the time, I just want to see the way that God will provide.

With all these wonderful and amazing ways God provides, you would think that I would totally, 100% trust God with my finances. Right? Well...when I allow my thoughts to wander, when I reflect on my worries, when I allow my thoughts to turn into fears, when I allow my fears to reflect the size of my God, well...I get in a tizzy about my finances.

It doesn't happen too much, but when it does, I feel like I have to find a way to provide for my needs, instead of waiting, taking matters into my own hands. I know when I am doing this, I am not trusting God. I know if I wait, God ALWAYS comes through! Yet, if my thoughts reflect on the doubts, and fears, this is where my mind goes.

I started to worry about food. I knew I couldn't even put food in my budget because my bills were so much this month. The only thing I could do was to trust God to provide, or take money from another bill to buy some food.

"Yes, I am totally going to trust God. I really am. He's provided before. But what if he doesn't? What will I make for meals? What do I tell my kids? I don't have much milk...or bread...or much fridge food. Oh, but I am going to trust God. I am. I am. I am...But...what if...but...what if...I run out...what if...yes, I have to go buy food myself. That's what I'll do. God might come too late. I'll make up that bill later...Sorry God, but I gotta' take care of myself."

There is something totally wrong with that scenario! Unfortunately, God hears similar conversations like that all the time. When our thoughts reflect fears, we can't trust.

Anyway, I went to the store, bought $40 of food and toilet paper, etc. I also bought a box of Kleenex's. I normally do not splurge on this item, but rather deal with a roll of toilet paper sitting on my counter to take care of the nose "drippies". (sorry! This story does have a point. I promise, I am almost done.)

Okay, so I chose a pretty mint green box. The color just stood out, and I thought it was pretty. I check out, go home, put my food away, and within the hour, I had a knock on my door. My precious friend was standing at the door with 4 or 5 bags of food, about the same amount of bags I c0me home from the store with.

Immediately, I felt...a repentance session coming on.

We talked. I shared my story with her about me not trusting. She left. I put groceries away. Had my talk with God, repenting for my lack of faith, and went to bed.

In the morning, I was just in awe. I noticed how I suddenly had duplicates of everything. The things she bought for my family were similar to the items I bought for myself only a couple hours before she showed up. God is good. God is still faithful. God still provides.

I looked on top of the fridge and there sat a mint green, pretty box of kleenex's; however they were not the ones I purchased.

It was the box my friend picked up for me...

I chuckled...

...and God spoke gently to me and said..."I even got the mint green, pretty ones you liked..."

I just love God, and today, I reflect once again on His goodness and faithfulness!

• "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life." Psalm 23:6a
• "Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful." Hebrews 10:23

~Wiping my grateful tears with my mint green, pretty box of tissues~

Recapture

Recapture~ To capture again...recover by capture...retake...to bring back by remembering...seize...take hold of...obtain...

This sounds like an action word. One which requires movement...forceful...taking of...purposeful...involves strategy...not a passive activity...

What do you need to recapture in your life today? Is it joy of the Lord? Freedom from bondage or addiction? A grateful attitude? A childlike faith? A servant's heart? Smiles and laughter? Quietness? Stillness? Quality time with your family or with your children? Your position in Christ? Lost hope or dreams? A slender figure? Finances?

Whatever it may be, God doesn't expect you to do alone.

He does, however, expect us to do our part. We are God's warriors and we are strong in and because of Christ Jesus.

Do you ever realize how fighting for justice or getting your kids to obey is not always an easy process? It takes commitment, discipline, consistency, and persistence. The same is true of life.

Joel 3:9 Proclaim this among the nations: Prepare for war! Rouse the warriors! Let all the fighting men draw near and attack.

It is time to quit complaining and making excuses on why we are not doing the things God is asking us to do. It's time to recapture those things in your life that God has given you authority and power over. You are not helpless or weak, because HE is strong. You are not a prisoner of your situation because HE has redeemed you by the blood of the lamb. You are not a victim, but..."more than a conquerer."

Let's proclaim that we are children of God, we are going to stand, we are going to make a difference, and we are going to recapture those things in which the enemy has tried to steal from us!

~Recapturing my joy~

Re-evaluate

Lord, plant my feet on higher ground...

For 2009, help me to:

• Recapture the joy of You, Lord.
• Remember all You have done.
• Reflect on Your goodness and faithfulness.
• Reestablish my boundaries.
• Reclaim my position in Christ.
• Regain ground stolen from the enemy.
• Refrain from bitterness.
• Repent quickly when I sin.
• Renew my mind
• Regard others better than myself
• Resign from judging others.
• Reject wickedness.
• Remain in You.
• Return to my first love.
• Receive others.
• Reinvent my thought life.
• Refresh my prayer life.
• Resolve unsettled matters in my heart.
• Reconcile broken relationships where possible.
• Recount the blessings You've given.
• Reinvest my life into the Kingdom of God.
• Relinquish my rights, desires, & own will for my life.
• Represent the attitude of Christ in all I do.
• Reduce criticism of others & of myself.
• Rediscover who I am in Christ.

The prefix "re-" means "again." So Heavenly Father~ Please do it again! Do what You need to in each one of us, in order to bring us to a place of total harmony with You. Restore our relationships, our churches, our communities, and our nation. Lord, our nation will reap what it has sown, but Father, have mercy on Your people as we draw near to You. May we become explosive for the Kingdom of God. May hearts be softened and turn heavenward. Let revival come, and let it begin and remain in each one of us... In Jesus' precious name~ Amen

Be Still...

"Be still and know that I am God..."

Be still=be silent before the Lord...be quiet...don't move...don't panic...rest...relax...focus on One voice...Let your walls down...wait...be patient...just be...cry if you want...cleansing tears...calming tears...do not be afraid...feel His presence...breathe...let Him overwhelm you...don't speak...listen...and really hear...feel His heartbeat...and His gentle touch...relax in His arms...and just be...let your guard down...He's waiting...Your Heavenly Father is waiting...feel his embrace...see His tears...feel His peace...He loves you...He will guide you...He will restore your joy...and your peace...He is...and you are...

Know that I am God= quit trying to figure everything out...shut your mind off...no analyzing...no figuring it out...just acknowledge...just wait...His plans are better than yours...His love more amazing than you can imagine...His forgiveness unending...let Him out of the box...He can do anything He wants...however He wants...whenever He wants...He can fix anything...and anyone...but You have to Know...that He, and He alone, is God...What other options do you have...are they working for you...

Learning to "Be still..."

I'm Back!

O-kay, so months later, I finally return. It seems like an eternity since I have been able to type on my own keyboard, but it has definitely been worth it. As I stated in a recent post, I really have had more time with God and time to re-focus my thoughts.

There has been ups and downs, and sometimes even side-ways events going on, but it's all been about perspective. Some days are good and some days are bad, but God is always good, and always faithful.

I took down my Christmas tree today...it's a little bare in here...and a little empty...

Somewhere over the last week, I lost my perspective...lost my edge on life...(or should I say I have felt like I am walking on the edge). I allowed materialism to get the best of me. I allowed the "lack of" to consume me. I allowed the enemy to steal my joy and peace. I allowed my tree and decorations to define Christmas.

My intentions were good...well, they started out good. Everything was going to be Christ-centered and I was going to stay focused on Him while others got wore down by the "busyness" of this season. I was going to be grateful for ALL things, no matter what. I was going to enJOY family get-togethers, and Christmas services, and time spent "Spreading the Joy of the Lord"...

I was going to...but I let guard down, and got side-swiped...

As I took down my Christmas tree, my youngest son cried, "Now Christmas is over. Why can't it be longer???"

I was irritated...I thought, "Do you realize how chaotic it has been the past few days???"

I immediately was convicted, and realized I totally missed it this year. I had a big 'ol Christmas season without the birthday guest of honor: Jesus.

I allowed the "chore" of gift-giving to get in the way. I allowed my recent vehicle issues and lack of transportation to rip my joy away. I allowed people's "icky" attitudes to change my own. I allowed myself to be obligated to go to events because of "guilt trips". I couldn't wait to get everything "over with", so I could just "get on with my life"...

I read people's blogs, and they speak of "bringing Christ into their lives this season", and I totally slammed the door in His face. Whew! Nothing like a "real" blogger moment, huh? I often wonder why God made me so transparent:)

So...Father God, I repent of being so selfish and oblivious to the gift you have given me...the most important one of all: Your son, Jesus Christ. I became "busy" and "the noise of life" consumed me, leaving You out of the picture for the past week. I thank you that Your mercies are new every morning, and that I can call upon those mercies right now to begin again. I ask for a renewed heart and a right spirit within me, and that You would just wash away my selfishness and pride. You have blessed me soooo much, even during my whining and complaining, and yet, I was too focused on everything that was going wrong. I am so sorry Father!!! Thank You for loving me right where I am, the way I am, and even knowing I would hurt Your heart like I have. Lead me in the right direction, on the right path, and show me how to live Christmas everyday of the year, not just one day of the year. Help me to teach my children what your gift REALLY means, and that it's not about just December 25th of every year. Thank you for everything! Help me to pick myself up and live as the woman of God you have called me to be...

Living in total grace today...

Here for a blurb

Life update...

Snow, snow, snow...buried under snow. Shovel is already way too worn out and winter isn't even officially here yet. It took me an hour and a half to dig out my van this morning....ugh!!! The kids enjoyed a snow day and that hasn't happened for at least an entire school year, so they are feeling pretty blessed.

Ventured out for an hour's worth of work (one client), so although the pay may not have been worth the trip out, the character quality I am giving to my new job is that of committment. (I must add that this is not a born trait of mine, rather one God has been pushing me to learn over a lifetime). Hey, whether it is easy or hard to grasp, it's definitely a well-worth quality to acquire, so praise God, I just might finally be "getting it". Woo hoo!

Still no computer, but I guarantee plenty of reading material once I return. Yes, I have officially finished all of the pages of a journal since I have been off the computer. It's amazing how much you can learn when technology is taken away from your life. We not only have no computer currently, but we went through a period of about 3 weeks with no telephone as well. During that time, TV time was cut down as well. (May as well tackle everything at once, huh?). Wow, it's amazing how loud God speaks when there is no phone ringing, or TV blaring, or radio consuming the space around a person. Talk about amazing!

There has been struggles as well, but more than struggles, there has been victories! I keep hearing a speaker's words over and over in my head: Be grateful for anything that brings you to your knees, because it brings you closer to God. Isn't that the truth??? It's amazing the things in life that one can get through when they change their perspective and thoughts.

Blessings are pouring in as God's reminder that obedience does pay off. God does recompense us and repay us for all the many things He asks us to give up along the path of following Him. He also makes the enemy pay us back for everything he has stolen from us. Praise God! How can a person not expect "Spring" in the middle of Winter with thoughts and meditations like those!!!

So my thought until we meet again is: Just because it may physically be approaching the winter and cold season, does NOT mean that Spring can't arrive in your Spirit and in your heart. Expect flowers to bloom in your life as you are living the obedient life Christ Jesus has asked you to walk. Yes, the world may be in a financial crisis, but we are not of this world, as we are aliens and strangers in this foreign land. Our real home is in heaven, and our Daddy God has all the resources we possibly need in this life and the next. Take authority and ask heaven's blessings to invade earth on God's people. In the matchless name of Jesus Christ we declare!!! Fear cannot operate when faith is present!!!

Until visiting brother's house again, Heaven