He's 10

This guy's birthday is today!

He's 10.

He's grown since he was a baby.

He's smart.

He wants to grow up & be a person who
gives his money away to poor people.

He hugs.

He laughs.

He likes to clean.

He builds with legos...

...& Magnetix.

He's creative.

He loves Jesus.

I love him.

He is mine:)

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Happy Birthday Bud!!!

Another new start!

I start school tomorrow!!!!

I am excited & nervous all at the same time.

I will be working towards my

on-line Associates degree in

Business Management.

Not sure where it will lead me in the end...

and that's O-kay.

I have some ideas...

but...

Only God truly knows! :)

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I thank You God for new starts!
I thank You for precious beginnings!
I thank You for hope!

I thank You for directing my paths!
I thank You for shielding me from
things that would destroy me.

I thank You (once again)
that I don't have to have all the answers...
for You already hold them in Your hand!

I thank You for the courage to go on...
One day at a time...
into the life You call me to!

I thank You for direction & wisdom
that can only come from You!

You amaze me!
You thrill me!
I am delighted in You!
Thank You for my life!
I love You!!!!!!

Please bless my friends today...
Let them feel Your touch in their lives today!

In Jesus' name,
Amen~

I Praise You!

Some trust in chariots and some in horses,
but we will trust in the name
of the Lord our God.
They are brought to their knees
and fall, but we rise up
and stand firm!

Psalm 20:7-8

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I praise You God that I can trust in You.
I praise You that You are my all-in-all.
I praise You that You help me to stand.

Above all else,
I praise You that I can trust You.

I can trust Your plan for my life.
I can put my hopes & dreams in You
and watch YOU form them
into beauty.

I thank YOU that You know
me better than I know myself!
I thank You that You know
what I need before I need it.
I thank You that Your way is perfect!

I thank You for loving me!
I may fall...
I may stumble...
But You, O Lord, help me get up...
and stand firm once again!!!

I love You, Oh Lord, my strength!!!

Love, Your daughter...Heaven

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You brought me out of the womb;
you made me trust in You
even at my mother's breast.
From birth I was cast upon You;
from my mother's womb
You have been my God.

Psalm 22:9-10

Perfect strength!

It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.

Psalm 18:32

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Lately I find myself crying myself to sleep
My strength gets me through the day victoriously...
but as I lie my head on my pillow at night,
I lose it...

The tears fall...
My head spins...
The discouragement comes...
I feel alone...
I wonder...
I cry some more...
I feel rejected...
I feel second-class...
I feel unworthy.

In those moments,
I pray to the One who knows it all.
I cry out to the One who catches my tears.
I summon my Creator...
My King...
My Savior...
My Comforter...
& beg Him to come to my side.

"Abba Father, please
take this cup from me!
Please take this ache from my heart!
Please make it different!
Please take my thoughts!"

A big sigh escapes from my weary soul...

& suddenly I KNOW...

I know He's there...
next to me...
I KNOW He's holding my heart...
I can picture Him stroking my face.
He stops my mind from spinning...
He soothes my pain...
He stills my breathing...
still heavy from sobbing...

And I KNOW I'm o-kay.
I KNOW morning will bring
fresh manna of new strength!
I KNOW weeping remains
only for a night...
& rejoicing will come
with the morning!

Somehow...
I know I slept soundly...
because it's morning.
I can't recall my last thought,
but I remember His touch
and His voice...

"It's o-kay sweet daughter...
I'm here."

I am renewed.
I am strengthened.
I am refreshed.
I am ready for this new day.

I thank God for HIS strength!!!

I'll be a fool for You!!!

I'll look like a fool if You want me to...

I'll believe for something that You ask me to...

...even if it never comes to pass...

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Those words have echoed through many
conversations I have had with God throughout
my relationship with Him.

Obedience requires trust...
trusting in the One who has asked you to obey.
There's a children's song with the lyrics...
"trust and obey, for there's no other way,
to be happy in Jesus than to trust and obey..."
As that song rings through my heart, I smile.
Simple, yet direct instructions...

TRUST....OBEY....

In order to be able to trust someone,
you have to have faith in a person,
which you gain by having a relationship with them.
Relationship requires sacrifice, on many levels.
I trust God. I may not always agree with the way
He (appears to be) is doing things,
but I trust that He is in control of my life...
because I've placed my life in His hands.

Through everything He's asked me to do,
my trust in Him has increased.
I've seen Him move in ways that are not my own
and perform miracles in my life that
I would have never comprehended.
This has caused me to trust.

Proverbs 3:5-6 says to

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,

and he will make your paths straight.

I can do this because I've seen Him
make things in my life line up
with His Will and plan for my life.

Isaiah 55:9 says:
"As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts."


So is it possible that in the eyes of man
I could "look like a fool" for believing
in something that may never come to pass?

Yep...

Have I regretted it this far?

Nope.

I live to please God,
Not man.

God holds my eternity,
Not man.

God holds my worth,
Not man.

Man says, "Told ya so!"

God says,
"Well-done my good & faithful servant!"

Let God's voice reign louder today in your heart
than man's voice. You don't have to
live in fear of what mere men have to say...

Men may see a fool...
But God sees a victorious warrior!!!

New day...

Praise God for new days!
New starts!
New mercies!
New perspectives!
New love!
New eyes to see!
New ears to hear!
New words to speak!

It's a new day!

The old has gone...
the new has come.

Now it's up to us
to find out how God
wants that to look like.

Heavenly Father, God in heaven, Daddy, I offer my day to you. I thank You for another day to bathe in Your presence. I thank You for another fresh start. I thank You that my life isn't defined by my yesterdays! I thank You that my love is found in You. I thank You for Your perfect love, Your perfect affection towards me. I thank You that even though man may reject us, You, always receive us!

It can be so easy to get bogged down by the cares and disappointments of the world, but You, O Lord, know it all. You hold my heart and my world in the palm of Your hand and I thank You for that. I pray blessings over all those who persecute me. I pray blessings over all those who I call friend. I pray blessings over my family, each one of them by name. I pray blessings over everyone who reads these words. It is because of YOU that I can do this. In my own strength and thinking, I could have a "few words" for a few people, but I choose to love, I choose to forgive, I choose to release, and I choose to bless, bless, bless.

I thank You that You take the broken things in our lives and make them new again. I thank You that I don't have to fear or worry or wonder what my future holds. I thank You that You love us more than we can ever ever ever imagine! Thank You for Your love and Your sacrifice, and Your hope! I receive everything You have for me today...including Your new mercies! Thank You for being my best friend, my Comforter, my provider, my Rock, and my Shield.

In Jesus' name, Amen~

Back to my First Love

My friend, Sami at Sailor & Company,
created this blog theme, and I am joining her
with my own "Back to My First Love" post.
(& it's long too!)

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I have a desire to go back to my first love...a strong desire... I see Him and my heart melts... I hear him whisper and I know He loves me... I talk and know He's listening to every word I say... He adores me...but most of all, I adore Him... I seriously can't live without Him...nor would I want to.

He snuggles with me as I fall asleep. He wipes my tears away before they even fall. The tears that do fall, He counts every one and saves them in a jar. He picks me up when I feel like I can't go on. He listens to me rant and rave...but then encourages me to come back to His Truth...His voice... His name is Jesus...

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Today I got the text...

"I'm getting remarried in a month."

WOW, o-kay...

"What now God???"
"Where do I go from here?"
"Um, Why did you have me believe for this again?"

For those of you who do not know my story, God has had me standing for reconciliation for my marriage to a man I divorced. God told me on the one-year anniversary of our divorce to begin standing for reconciliation.

I cried.
I prayed.
I argued with God.
I accepted.
And I finally told God,
"Yes, let Your Will be done."

Long story short...
Circumstances have said otherwise...
yet I believed.
Mountains stood firm...
yet I had faith.
Tears fell...
hope was lost...
I loved...
I believed...

BUT Jesus kept me strong!
He kept me believing!
He kept me praying!
He kept me declaring!
He kept me loving!
No matter what happened...
Jesus kept me!

"So what now???"
"Did I hear God wrong?"
"Did I miss something?"
"Was God simply playing with my emotions?"
"Did He lie to me?"

NO. NO. NO. NO.

As I sit here, writing, processing, and thinking...
I am quickly reminded...
that during this time...

GOD CHANGED ME!
JESUS KEPT ME!
THE HOLY SPIRIT TAUGHT ME!

I . AM. NOT. THE. SAME.
AS. I. WAS. BEFORE.
I. STARTED. THIS. JOURNEY!!!

My faith and prayer life has skyrocked through the roof! My Bible reading has become my life-line. The intimacy I have with my Heavenly Daddy is amazing. Jesus has become my friend and companion as I have told Him every feeling along the way. The Holy Spirit has become my comforter and my teacher.

Do I know the "why's"? No.
Do I know what the future holds? No.
Does it matter? Not really.
Why?

Because I have spent the last 2 months bathing in the presence of God, my Abba Father, my Daddy. By doing that, I have received a better understanding of His character.

God does NOT lie! (Numbers 23:19)
God DOES have a plan for my future! (Jer. 29:11)
I don't have to be anxious (Phil. 4:6)
He works out ALL things for good (Rom. 8:28)
God chose ME! (Eph. 1:11)

I may leak some tears.
I may get angry.
I may get sad...

But in the end...
I still win!
God wins!
I may not be his wife...
But I will be someone's wife...
For God has been molding
me into that wife...
one day at a time.

I can CHOOSE to despair
or CHOOSE to trust!
I can CHOOSE to be bitter
or CHOOSE to forgive!

I CHOOSE the "higher" way...
I CHOOSE God's way!
I CHOOSE TO RELEASE!
I CHOOSE TO BLESS!
I CHOOSE TO MOVE ON!

I obeyed...

So...

"What now God?"

"Come back to me...
Your first love..."

Love, Jesus