Thank You, Lord, for what You've DONE!

I have note cards hanging around my house. They hang in my view where I can easily spot them. 


One friend told me once, "You're discouraged?!?! Just go read the notes in your bathroom!"  Those notes, too, are in, ahem...view when I sit.


The problem is that they have become too familiar. I read them, yet I do not see them. I say the words, yet I do not speak the words. 


Motions...just words...routines...habits...they're there...but they're not.


Today, I read the last line of one of these cards: "Thank You, Lord, for what you have done, and for what you are going to do."


I stopped...after "...what You have done..."


My facebook status this morning said something about "choosing to rejoice!"  I don't like to rejoice. I don't even like to make myself rejoice. I don't even like to pretend to rejoice...


...but I do it anyway...


Or do I???


As I sat...ahem...in view of this note card in my bathroom, my heart skipped a beat, and a giggle slipped out, as I stopped at and repeated the words..."for what You HAVE DONE!"


I've been so busy worrying and claiming blessings over the things God hasn't YET done, that I have forgotten to rejoice and thank God for what He HAS DONE! 


I have SO much to be grateful for! Right now! This day! This second in time! God has done SO MUCH in my life and I'm still worrying about what He hasn't done! Ugh! 


I may not be able to escape the "wilderness"/desert experience I'm in right now, but I sure can determine how my attitude is in the midst of it.  One of the biggest reasons the Israelites stayed in the desert so long is because they grumbled, complained, and murmured so much!


I have gotten pretty good about NOT complaining when I hit a rough patch in life, but I haven't quite mastered the art of gratitude and rejoicing during my rough patches.  I don't think I will ever "master" it, but I also know that I can appear grateful without really being grateful.  


The Lord sees my heart, and even though I may outwardly be "fooling" people (including myself) that I'm not complaining, I'm not able to hide from God.  See, my heart is still speaking even though words aren't coming out of my mouth.


"Why hasn't _____ happened yet? Do you see what's going on God? We have a deadline here! Hello? Are you listening to me God? What about abc and xyz? Etc."


Outwardly, I smile, I read my Bible, I quote scriptures, I give, I'm patient...blah blah blah! Inwardly, I'm still looking at everything God still hasn't given me! (Even though He's provided miracle after miracle almost every day of my life!!!)


If I began listing EVERYTHING God has ALREADY DONE for me for the past 36 3/4 years, I would seriously have NO time to consider anything else but the goodness & faithfulness of God!!!


I really thought that because I wasn't verbally complaining, that I really wasn't complaining, and then couldn't figure out why I didn't have joy! It's time to get honest and really evaluate your heart attitude. Are you REALLY grateful? Are you REALLY serving? Are you REALLY seeking? Are you REALLY obeying? Are you REALLY giving? Are you REALLY being humble? Are you REALLY loving?


We can outwardly "obey", while inwardly "rebel"... God wants to deal with "heart issues"...


Will you let Him deal with yours?

"Who do YOU say I am?"

Many months ago, God took me to Matthew 16:15 where Jesus asked His disciples this question:


"But what about YOU?", [Jesus] asked. "Who do YOU say I am?"


That verse, which I had read many times before, suddenly penetrated my heart, revealing that I did NOT believe God was who He said He was. 


Through years of disappointment and unanswered prayers, I resolved in my heart that God did not love me and did not really care about me.  I talked the talk. I walked the walk. I declared God's promises. I prayed. BUT I did not expect God to answer my pleas and heart cries for my life.  


I could tell you who He was for YOU, but I did not believe that He could be that for me.


I could pray prayers for you, and expect that God WOULD answer because He loved YOU...


BUT I couldn't receive the same for my life.


Disappointment...


It's a part of life.


As I started being honest with God on that day about who I REALLY thought He was, God began to reveal who He REALLY was. My healing didn't come overnight. I went through many weeks of struggling as the lies I believed about God began coming forth, and as God began to replace those lies with HIS TRUTH.  


The Israelites took 40 YEARS to take a 2 week journey across the desert into the Promised Land! 40 YEARS!!! Around and around the desert they went, wandering aimlessly, getting more and more bitter, lost, complacent, and ungrateful.


God continued to show them He was faithful and could be trusted! God continued to provide miracle after miracle for their protection and provision! God continued to give them victory in EVERY battle they faced! God continued to encourage them NOT to be afraid!


YET THEY STILL doubted! THEY STILL complained! THEY STILL grumbled! THEY STILL chose to worship other idols and gods! THEY STILL found disappointment! THEY STILL were afraid!


I've heard the definition of Insanity defined as "doing the same thing while expecting different results."  Now, while this phrase has been way-overused, I see it also being way-overused in my own life.


What if part of our "Desert experience" is defined as "thinking the same things about God while expecting different outcomes from Him"? Just a thought as I quickly write out this post.


Or what if God continues to provide for us and answer our prayers in original, creative ways, (as He did with the Israelites) yet because it's not what WE EXPECT, we assume He's doing nothing...therefore, adding to the lie that God really doesn't care about us or our situation... Again, just another thought.


If you don't think God is "for you" and doesn't care for you, then you aren't going to be able to see clearly when He provides a way out of your desert experience.  You will assume, as I once did, that you are meant to stay here forever, and that this is all life holds, because this is all you deserve... (Just another thought!)


I believe God wants to rearrange your thinking about the way that you think about Him. I believe He wants you to really "get" the truth about who is REALLY is, and who He REALLY wants to be for you. I believe He wants the lies exposed that you have believed about Him (and yourself!) for so long. I pray that today as you read this, that God will penetrate your heart, the same way He did mine months ago, as He asks you...


"But what about YOU? who do YOU say that I am???"

What guests are you entertaining?

Access to our "Promised Land" usually isn't an easy path. It usually is a road with twists, turns, curves, bumps, & pot holes here and there. 

Life happens. Whether you're a Christian or not, good things don't happen just because you will them, wish them, or declare them into existence. Growing up with years of childhood/adolescence secular counseling, I was told that my life and attitude was determined based on how I thought/felt/spoke about things, i.e. my circumstances, future, etc.


Basically, I learned I couldn't always control the world or circumstances around me, but I could control the way I handled what came my way.  Positive affirmations, taped upon my mirror and spoken every morning, were to increase my self-esteem. Intentionally seeking to forgive past offenders would lead my "inner child" to a more peaceful existence as a fruitful and fulfilled adult.


My point is, no matter what side of the fence you are on, God or anti-God, we all agree that faith and words alone cannot always "heal" us or move us forward.  Although there are times that God, in His Sovereignty, chooses to instantaneously deliver us from our own lonely desert, most of the time, we have to walk out our journey.


His healing power, through the Word of God, renews our mind, our heart, and our spirit, but no matter how much healing is poured out upon us, eventually, we will have to walk...forward...one step at a time...closer...to the place He wants us to possess.


Before I went to bed last night, I had a little party. Offense came to visit and invited Self-Pity. Before long, Disappointment and Sadness came along. By the time I went to bed, Mr. Depression and "Poor Me" had joined the life-sucking get-together. We had a sleep over.  


When I woke up this morning, they all wanted to hang around and party some more.  I thought about it. I really did. After all, I definitely know how to entertain those guys! I've been doing it for years...yet somehow, I knew I just wasn't in the mood for a back-to-back pity party.  


Instead, I was firm in my mind that I was NOT going to entertain these guests today. See, in the past month, as I have been spending time with God, I have found that there is no room in my Promised Land for these visitors. Part of the reason the Israelites stayed in the desert for so long is that they entertained Self-pity, grumbling, murmuring, complaining, disappointment, and unbelief rather than to follow the directions of the Lord through those leading them.

I know how to stay depressed! I know how to live in unbelief, regret, disappointment, and in lack!  I can tell you what every side of this mountain looks like because I've spent my life going around and around, yet never really getting anywhere, but more confused and lost. I know how the desert winds blow in distractions, mirages, and detours with the sandstorms of life.




I'm ready to live on the other side of this desert. I'm ready to live in full view of my blessings and inheritance of the Lord. I'm ready to bathe in the freedom God has promised me....


It requires more of God's Presence IN ME!


That means telling my unwelcomed guests of pity to flee! That means inviting Rejoicing, Thankfulness, Praise, and Delight to my house for a time of refreshment and renewal.


INTENTIONALLY praising God for the amazing, wonderful, glorious blessings in my life!!!


DECLARING that my feelings are NOT the final answer! They do NOT define me! 


PROCLAIMING that God is STILL FOR ME; not against me!


---I can't do your "work". You can't "do" mine. I can't take your journey. You can't take mine. 


BUT I CAN take my journey!
AND YOU CAN take yours...

"Action"

I don't "do" new year's resolutions, but I do "do" a "word" for the year. I ask God what His "word" for me for the year is. One year, it was "trust". THAT was a hard year! This year, God gave me "ACTION!"

  

I'm tend not to be an "action" girl. I tend to be a "dreaming" girl, a "starting" girl, an "introspective" girl...but not too much of an "action" girl. My feelings have usually "won" out in the past. If I don't "feel" like doing something, I usually won't unless I HAVE to. (ex. going to church vs. cooking supper for my son). My son HAS to eat, but we'll survive if we don't make it to church one Sunday.

Long story short, the month of January was a total loss training month for me. From January 1st on, I was met with scenario after scenario that totally tripped up my emotions! I rarely left my house. I went a little over a month without going to church or Tuesday prayer meetings. I didn't hang out with friends. I slept ALOT! I kept myself in my own little bubble because I didn't "feel like" doing anything!

Amazingly, I watched quite a bit of Christian television, listened to Christian teachers, read my Bible often, and spent quality time with God.  I wrote in my journal almost daily. Even if I didn't "feel like" spending time with God, I KNEW that was the only way out of the pit I dug for myself. On some days, I only opened my Bible to read one verse, and then shut it again. Then I would follow with listening to a Christian teaching program on TV. 

God spoke. Not too much made sense, but I KNEW He was speaking. I KNEW He was pointing out verses to me, so I would write them down. I didn't know what they really meant or how they fit into my life, but I KNEW God wanted me to write them down.  I did. 

Today is Saturday, February 4, 2012. Those verses God had me write down from January 1st until now, are NOW fitting together.  

God is calling me (and you) out of our Egypt...out of the wilderness...out of the desert! God is calling me (and you) into action so that we can experience and possess our Promised Land that God has for us!

ACTION!!!

I woke up on Tuesday, January 24, 2012, and declared, "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!" I had been in this "funk" for well over a month, and I was DONE- D.O.N.E.- DONE!!! 

I forced myself into ACTION! I got dressed, declared God's promises over my life, and determined I was going forward!!! It hasn't been easy by no means! It hasn't even been comfortable! It has been challenging, BUT God has an inheritance for me...my PROMISED LAND...and I WANT IT! I NEED IT! I DESIRE IT! and I MUST go after it in order to possess it!!!

I have been settling for the "desert", the "wilderness", for sooooooooooooooo long.  I've even wanted to go back to "Egypt"- the junk God's taken me out of- just so I don't have to go forward. I'm tired of a mediocre life. What about you?

1. Get DRESSED! - Ephesians 6 talks about putting on the armor of God. The belt of Truth, the breast plate of Righteousness, the shoes of the gospel of peace, shield of faith, Helmet of Salvation, the sword of the Spirit, and love. Without "putting on" these spiritual "clothes", it's like showing up to work naked! You're not prepared! You're bound to get bombarded and end up going back home before you've even started! For me, because I do not work outside of the home, this also means I have to physically get dressed for the day, even though I love lounging in my pajamas all day. 

2. DECLARE God's promises! Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. What is your heart believing about your life? About your circumstances? About the situation staring at you in the face? SPEAK to the "mountain" in your life! When you let your circumstances tell you what or how you should feel, you are starting on the wrong side of the battle field! I don't know about you, but when I wake up in the morning, I am tempted to say, "UGH! I am sooooooo tired. I want to go back to bed. Another day??? Blah." When I do that, I set my day up for that kind of day. I set my mind to a defeated mentality. I won't have a good day. I will be tired all day. More than likely, I will go back to bed... So DESPITE what my body and feelings are telling me, I DECLARE "I'm going to have a great day because THIS IS THE DAY God has made! I will rejoice! BUT GOD I NEED MORE OF YOU!"  So I declare victory in my day, but I also declare my need for God's strength and power to help me get through my day :)

3. DETERMINE that no matter what happens, that God is STILL GOD! God is STILL in control. God is STILL good no matter what I see! Just because you get "dressed" and "declare", doesn't mean that the rest of your day is going to go smoothly, Especially, if this is something new you are doing! Throughout the day, you may have to continue to declare and determine (set your mind straight!) that you are going forward...you are claiming victory...you are trusting and believing God........  DETERMINE!!!

You and I have a Promised Land that God wants to bring you into. You have a choice NOT to receive it. You CAN stay exactly where you are at, and yet still live your mediocre life.  BUT...BUT...BUT YOU CAN HAVE YOUR PROMISED LAND- the land flowing with milk, honey, abundance, destiny, great joy, peace....-IF YOU DECIDE you want it!

DECIDE to move into ACTION to receive it!!! 

Got a mountain???

"I think I can..."

"I think I can..."

"I think I can..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The little engine that could...did!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you're not familiar with the story of the "Little Engine that Could", it's a cute little children's story about an train engine that was trying to climb a mountain. As the mountain began to peak, the little engine began to lose strength, stamina, and energy, thus causing him to lose his confidence in his ability to make the uphill journey.

Depending on the version of the written story, the little engine basically tells himself he can't make the mountain. Negative thoughts begin to flood his mind and he begins to believe the lies that he isn't capable of  finishing hit journey.

"I'll never make it."

"It's too hard."

"I can't do this."

"They were right! I'm not good enough."

"Why do I even try?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The way we think (and speak!) about ourselves does matter. 

The way we think (and speak!) about our situations does matter.

The way we think (and speak!) about the people around us matters.

The way we think (and speak!) about our future really does matter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next time you encounter a mountain in the path before you,

and are tempted to say, "This is JUST TOO BIG!!!"...

I pray that you would remind your mountain

just HOW BIG YOUR JESUS IS!!!

Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt...you can also say to this mountain, 'Go throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done." Matthew 21:21

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And when the voices and your thoughts say...

"I can't do this!"

"This is too hard!"

"I'll never make it!"

...then you remind yourself that...

"I can do ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST

 who strengthens me!!!"

Philippians 4:13 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The "Little Engine that Could" finally DID climb that mountain!

He didn't give up! He spoke up and talked to himself!

He spoke to the doubts and said...

"I think I can!" He said it more than once!!!

He kept going forward! (Despite wanting to quit!)

He made it!!!!!!!!

and

so

will

you

IF

you 

DO

NOT

QUIT!!!

Engraved and Tattooed

"See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; 
your walls are ever before me." 
Isaiah 49:16 NIV
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Behold, I have indelibly imprinted (tattooed a picture of) you on the palm of each of My hands; [O Zion] your walls are continually before Me." (Amplified)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Look, I've written your names on the backs of my hands.

The walls you're rebuilding are never out of my sight." 
(The Message)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*ENGRAVE-

To carve, cut, or etch a design or letters into or
To impress deeply as if by carving or etching
Synonym: tattooed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Have you ever gotten a tattoo? 
If not, I'm sure you know someone who has.


I know many people, including myself, who have gotten tattoos to symbolize their love for another person. I guess in a way, you could call it a "love wound". We choose to sit through the irritation/pain of a tattoo so that we have a "memorial" of a memory or a person. Years ago, I made a very spontaneous decision to get initials engraved on my body. I SOOOOOOO regret it now, as that person no longer holds that special place in my heart.



The verses above in Isaiah speak of God's love for His people in Israel. He wanted them to know that He wouldn't forget them because they were engraved into the palms of His hands. The verse before speaks of a nursing mother who forgets who baby at her breast, yet God will NEVER forget.

In the New Testament, Jesus bore "love wounds" for us.



This verse in Isaiah could also be true of Jesus' death and Resurrection on the cross. Every whip that tore open His skin was because of His love for you and I. Every drop of blood that was shed was for you and I. Every pound of the hammer driving the nails into His hands was allowed because He loves you and I. Every thorn that pierced Jesus' scalp was embedded for you and I. 


 Every breath of air He gasped for was for you and I.

Jesus had "love wounds" for us,
yet He will never regret it...
He will never say,
"Oh man, why did I do that?"
He will never deny you...
or say His sacrifice was a mistake...



Lately, I've been worrying and having anxiety over my kids, but God brought me back to this verse. If He loves me enough to let His only Son bear "love wounds" for me, wouldn't that mean He loves me AND my children enough to take care of us. Isn't God still big enough in our lives to take care of the small and big circumstances around us???



I've always told Dylan that he can't trust and be afraid at the same time. He has to choose to trust that God will keep him totally safe when he falls asleep, or else He chooses the believe the enemy's lies and is afraid. Trust and fear are opposites. He gets that and now is calling me to make the same choices. 


 "Mom, if you're afraid, you're not trusting..."

...hmmm...out of the mouths of babes...



Today, I choose to relinquish control of my children and place them back into the arms of my Heavenly Father who holds and can protect them better than I ever can. I choose to trust that God is still in control and still has a plan greater than I can ever imagine. I choose to believe that I will walk in the wisdom and counsel of God because I have the mind of Christ. I choose to stand with the sword of the Spirit in my hand, and quit cowering with fear and doubt. I choose to declare God's promises over myself, my children, my finances, my job, my house, our futures and God-given destinies. I choose to remember the "love wounds" my Savior bore for me, and to keep looking forward and up! In the name of Jesus Christ, I stand!

~engraved in His palms~

Fight the good fight...

I spent the last week of 2011 determined to bring in the new year by letting the past be the past...once and for all. I have spent so much of my life re-living scenario after scenario of my past. Whether it be things from my childhood, or my teen years, or my mistakes, or from my marriage/divorce, I just continued to live in it.

Everything God had shown me up until December 31, 2011, was leading me in the direction that my past had to go!  I was like a war veteran, telling the stories of the past over and over, only to keep myself stuck in that time frame of hurt, rejection, and pain.  

Anyway, I woke up January 1, 2012, determined to go forward into all that God was calling me to. By mid-morning, I was ticked, irritated, and saying some very bad words!!!  Although my past was not repeating itself, it felt like it was through a very similar situation. I was ready to run someone over TICKED BEYOND TICKED!!!

The memories of my past reared its ugly head and started taunting me.

"Ha! Ha! Here I am! You thought you could get rid of me! Remember this incident? And this one? Remember the pain of this one? The rage? The bitterness? The anger? The injustice? Oh, what about this? Just in case you forgot, let me remind you about..."

I was ready to blow!!!!! I had a "right" to be was angry! That person had NO right! Selfish! Jerk! Bad, bad, bad words! Insensitive! Grrr.... I continued on and on until I eventually lost all of my peace, all of my joy, and probably a little sanity as well.  I let the offenses come and stack up so high that I couldn't even begin to think of sleep because my mind was so bombarded with junk!

I finally found sleep because I eventually woke up....(angry!)

I vented to a friend. I vented to her again. And I vented to her again. I text a different friend and said, "Um, how am I supposed to think positive about this???" 

I did that for two or three days.

My heart hurt for the people involved. That caused more anger because it could have been avoided! The anger caused more hurt, more resentment, more bitterness, more anger, more hurt, more resentment.......

I finally cried out to God, "I'm tired of being angry and bitter. Please help me not hunt this person down! Make good come out of this. I pray for everyone involved, even the person making the poor choices. Jesus, we need you to make this right! I need to move forward. Help me to be a light, not a jerk. Protect my kids! Protect the hearts of everyone else involved. And please move in this situation! In Jesus' name, Amen."

I was able to sleep last night.

I woke up with peace this morning.

I'm choosing to go forward.

When the next ghost from the past appears, I will choose, once again, to go forward...

Because I am CHOOSING to...

"forget what is behind and strain towards what is ahead... (I will) press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13b-14