"Who do YOU say I am?"

Many months ago, God took me to Matthew 16:15 where Jesus asked His disciples this question:


"But what about YOU?", [Jesus] asked. "Who do YOU say I am?"


That verse, which I had read many times before, suddenly penetrated my heart, revealing that I did NOT believe God was who He said He was. 


Through years of disappointment and unanswered prayers, I resolved in my heart that God did not love me and did not really care about me.  I talked the talk. I walked the walk. I declared God's promises. I prayed. BUT I did not expect God to answer my pleas and heart cries for my life.  


I could tell you who He was for YOU, but I did not believe that He could be that for me.


I could pray prayers for you, and expect that God WOULD answer because He loved YOU...


BUT I couldn't receive the same for my life.


Disappointment...


It's a part of life.


As I started being honest with God on that day about who I REALLY thought He was, God began to reveal who He REALLY was. My healing didn't come overnight. I went through many weeks of struggling as the lies I believed about God began coming forth, and as God began to replace those lies with HIS TRUTH.  


The Israelites took 40 YEARS to take a 2 week journey across the desert into the Promised Land! 40 YEARS!!! Around and around the desert they went, wandering aimlessly, getting more and more bitter, lost, complacent, and ungrateful.


God continued to show them He was faithful and could be trusted! God continued to provide miracle after miracle for their protection and provision! God continued to give them victory in EVERY battle they faced! God continued to encourage them NOT to be afraid!


YET THEY STILL doubted! THEY STILL complained! THEY STILL grumbled! THEY STILL chose to worship other idols and gods! THEY STILL found disappointment! THEY STILL were afraid!


I've heard the definition of Insanity defined as "doing the same thing while expecting different results."  Now, while this phrase has been way-overused, I see it also being way-overused in my own life.


What if part of our "Desert experience" is defined as "thinking the same things about God while expecting different outcomes from Him"? Just a thought as I quickly write out this post.


Or what if God continues to provide for us and answer our prayers in original, creative ways, (as He did with the Israelites) yet because it's not what WE EXPECT, we assume He's doing nothing...therefore, adding to the lie that God really doesn't care about us or our situation... Again, just another thought.


If you don't think God is "for you" and doesn't care for you, then you aren't going to be able to see clearly when He provides a way out of your desert experience.  You will assume, as I once did, that you are meant to stay here forever, and that this is all life holds, because this is all you deserve... (Just another thought!)


I believe God wants to rearrange your thinking about the way that you think about Him. I believe He wants you to really "get" the truth about who is REALLY is, and who He REALLY wants to be for you. I believe He wants the lies exposed that you have believed about Him (and yourself!) for so long. I pray that today as you read this, that God will penetrate your heart, the same way He did mine months ago, as He asks you...


"But what about YOU? who do YOU say that I am???"