I know that sounds weird, because that's what we are supposed to do, and that's what I tell others to do- "Tell God what you are feeling. He knows it anyway!"
In overcoming personal depression and mood disorders throughout my life, I have trained myself praise God in the storm- to declare the positive despite the circumstances. To speak out the storm to God seems pretty "faith-less to me."
This Psalm writing experience for me has taken almost a month to do (or at least it seems like it) because I have been afraid to go back into the pit that God's brought me out of. Afraid that by speaking those things which grip my heart will cause me to dwell on them, and become depressed again. This has been challenging, to say the least.
So, as I determined to get this Psalm done this morning, God brought me back to David. He was a man after GOD'S OWN HEART! Yet he was probably one of the biggest "whiners" or "complainers" in the Bible. (Just my opinion) How could that be? GOD'S OWN HEART!
I love the Psalms because David is so real in his conversations with God. There's no trying to decipher what he is saying. He simply says how he feels, and then ALWAYS goes back to God and says, "BUT I know you are in control! BUT I know you have a plan! BUT you are still good!"
As God reminded me of David (once again), I realized that this project was not a "faith-less" act, yet a declaration stating that EVEN THOUGH some things in life look bleak, God is STILL faithful and in control! Here's my Psalm:
O Lord, You are my Rock and my Salvation. You are a firm place in which I can stand. As I stand on You and Your Word, I stand on the Strong Tower, which raises me above all my enemies and the plans of destruction that the enemy has for my life. I am able to conquer because of You. I am able to breathe life because of You. I am able to declare freedom because of You. I am able to walk and run in Your place of rest and peace. I am able to step on the destructive traps of the enemy and step into my destiny- The one which you have planted into the spirit within me.
Father, you see the pain and worry surrounding my heart regarding my children. You hear the groaning cries praying that life will be different for them. You see the plans that the enemy crafts before their feet, hoping they will fall into destruction and wicked lifestyles. He has a plan, but You, O Lord, have a bigger plan that will prevail in my children's lives. I cling to your Word and your promises that my children WILL serve you.
Some people say, "Let kids be kids." Others say, "That's just what kids get into now-a-days". Lord, don't they see what spiritual doors get opened through those things. Don't they hear the cries of the captive saying, "that's how it all began." Don't they understand that You have called my children and I to higher ground- Your hill of holiness? Don't they see how clinging to worthless idols and deceptive lies destroy people? Are they that blind to the things of God that they just can't see? Don't they understand how simple images become implanted into their brains forever, making them long for more, or how the song lyrics eventually become the song of their hearts? Why can't they see that those things are not to be the "normal" in our lives? Those forbidden acts. Those words listened to and spoken are not just "the way it is."
Lord, you have told us that we are strangers and visitors here, meaning we have an eternal home that holds our citizenship. We are not to get "comfortable" here or engage in the things of the wicked. We are not to "try out" or "settle into" those things which are not of You. Lord, my pain is exaggerated because I know how those things damage us, as I've experienced, and I don't want my kids to tread in those waters.
I want to protect them from wandering hearts and deceptive people. I want to hold onto them tightly and never let go, yet You tell me to trust You with their hearts. You ask me to loosen my grip and place them into Your arms. You ask me to step back and let them begin making choices, yet I am afraid. Afraid you will "drop them". Afraid I will not be able to pick up the pieces of their hearts once again. Afraid of losing them. Afraid that they will walk in the counsel of the wicked...
...BUT You have brought freedom to me even though I ventured into those things.
...BUT you love my kids more than I do.
...BUT you have a plan for them that will succeed despite what it may seem.
...BUT You do hear my cries and prayers and the enemy is trembling because he knows I will fight in prayer for my kids.
I choose to trust You Lord. I choose to declare freedom into their lives. I choose to speak life into the champions you have created them to be. I choose to release them into your grip and choose to allow you to work in their lives. I choose to proclaim victory over those things trying to ensnare them. I choose to train my children up in the way of the Lord, pleasing You, and You alone.
I pray that You would infuse your wisdom, discernment, and guidance into my spirit and show me when to hang on, let go, or simply wait. I choose to cling to you more and less to fear. I declare that fear will not grip my heart or their destinies anymore. I hold fast to Your love and promises and goodness. You are faithful and the Great Shepherd of our lives. I will be strong and place my beating heart into your strong and rest-filled hands.
In Jesus' name, Amen
Father, you see the pain and worry surrounding my heart regarding my children. You hear the groaning cries praying that life will be different for them. You see the plans that the enemy crafts before their feet, hoping they will fall into destruction and wicked lifestyles. He has a plan, but You, O Lord, have a bigger plan that will prevail in my children's lives. I cling to your Word and your promises that my children WILL serve you.
Some people say, "Let kids be kids." Others say, "That's just what kids get into now-a-days". Lord, don't they see what spiritual doors get opened through those things. Don't they hear the cries of the captive saying, "that's how it all began." Don't they understand that You have called my children and I to higher ground- Your hill of holiness? Don't they see how clinging to worthless idols and deceptive lies destroy people? Are they that blind to the things of God that they just can't see? Don't they understand how simple images become implanted into their brains forever, making them long for more, or how the song lyrics eventually become the song of their hearts? Why can't they see that those things are not to be the "normal" in our lives? Those forbidden acts. Those words listened to and spoken are not just "the way it is."
Lord, you have told us that we are strangers and visitors here, meaning we have an eternal home that holds our citizenship. We are not to get "comfortable" here or engage in the things of the wicked. We are not to "try out" or "settle into" those things which are not of You. Lord, my pain is exaggerated because I know how those things damage us, as I've experienced, and I don't want my kids to tread in those waters.
I want to protect them from wandering hearts and deceptive people. I want to hold onto them tightly and never let go, yet You tell me to trust You with their hearts. You ask me to loosen my grip and place them into Your arms. You ask me to step back and let them begin making choices, yet I am afraid. Afraid you will "drop them". Afraid I will not be able to pick up the pieces of their hearts once again. Afraid of losing them. Afraid that they will walk in the counsel of the wicked...
...BUT You have brought freedom to me even though I ventured into those things.
...BUT you love my kids more than I do.
...BUT you have a plan for them that will succeed despite what it may seem.
...BUT You do hear my cries and prayers and the enemy is trembling because he knows I will fight in prayer for my kids.
I choose to trust You Lord. I choose to declare freedom into their lives. I choose to speak life into the champions you have created them to be. I choose to release them into your grip and choose to allow you to work in their lives. I choose to proclaim victory over those things trying to ensnare them. I choose to train my children up in the way of the Lord, pleasing You, and You alone.
I pray that You would infuse your wisdom, discernment, and guidance into my spirit and show me when to hang on, let go, or simply wait. I choose to cling to you more and less to fear. I declare that fear will not grip my heart or their destinies anymore. I hold fast to Your love and promises and goodness. You are faithful and the Great Shepherd of our lives. I will be strong and place my beating heart into your strong and rest-filled hands.
In Jesus' name, Amen
6 comments:
*smiling BIG*
Good for you, Heaven.
Love the big BUT!!!!!
Yay for you for overcoming your fear and doing it! And it's great.
You are INCREDIBLE!!!! I love you girl....
Loved all the comments you left the birthday girl:)
Was just visiting ADHD...Thanks for setting me up to post the 100th comment. What an honor. And I couldn't have done it without you! *grin*
Praying for you and I hope you're doing better.
AWESOME!
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