Proverbs 13:12
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
I spoke to someone yesterday whose hope was gone. The dream in his heart had been crushed, and he couldn't find any reason to live. His purpose was gone.
Day by day, he simply went through the motions of going to work, coming home, zoning out in front of the television, and going to bed. He didn't care anymore. He had nothing worth fighting for. He has two children, but doesn't talk to them because it reminds him of how he "screwed" up his life, and it hurts too much to know that his ex-wife and his kids have moved on without him. He can barely take care of himself right now, and doesn't know how to comfort his children, so he just doesn't call. He begs that God will protect and love on his kids, because he can't right now.
He is at the bottom of the bottom and feels like God is punishing him for years of hurting his wife. So this man just takes it, and accepts this pain and hopelessness he feels. He once prayed that God would show him just how much he hurt his wife, and then asked God to let him to carry her pain, so that she could wouldn't have to. He doesn't complain because, in his mind, he "deserves" this agony. This is the journey he is on.
He prays for one last chance...even though he's had many. He tortures himself by re-playing scenarios from his marriage over and over, and condemning himself for the things he could have done, should have done...
One last chance...He's learned how to love his wife, yet will never get the chance to show her because she says that God still is telling her "no".
She wants to obey God because He knows the future. God knows what she needs. God knows her journey...and his journey...and where each path is leading...and he is in control of each of them.
Nothing about this man and his wife's relationship surprised God. Nothing about their divorce surprised God. Nothing about the sadness this man is feeling surprises God.
I struggled with what to say to this man. I had no wonderful words of wisdom or comfort for him. I spent most of my time listening to him, and to his broken heart. He only wanted to hear one thing, because that was his longing and his dream, and I couldn't give that to him. Hope deferred has made his heart sick, and all I could do is listen and pray. Christian cliches were not what he needed to hear.
He begged with, pleaded, and sobbed to the woman whom he longs to be his wife again.
He needed to hear that he could have just one last chance in his marriage...
His wife couldn't tell him "yes" because God had told her "no".
Day by day, he simply went through the motions of going to work, coming home, zoning out in front of the television, and going to bed. He didn't care anymore. He had nothing worth fighting for. He has two children, but doesn't talk to them because it reminds him of how he "screwed" up his life, and it hurts too much to know that his ex-wife and his kids have moved on without him. He can barely take care of himself right now, and doesn't know how to comfort his children, so he just doesn't call. He begs that God will protect and love on his kids, because he can't right now.
He is at the bottom of the bottom and feels like God is punishing him for years of hurting his wife. So this man just takes it, and accepts this pain and hopelessness he feels. He once prayed that God would show him just how much he hurt his wife, and then asked God to let him to carry her pain, so that she could wouldn't have to. He doesn't complain because, in his mind, he "deserves" this agony. This is the journey he is on.
He prays for one last chance...even though he's had many. He tortures himself by re-playing scenarios from his marriage over and over, and condemning himself for the things he could have done, should have done...
One last chance...He's learned how to love his wife, yet will never get the chance to show her because she says that God still is telling her "no".
She wants to obey God because He knows the future. God knows what she needs. God knows her journey...and his journey...and where each path is leading...and he is in control of each of them.
Nothing about this man and his wife's relationship surprised God. Nothing about their divorce surprised God. Nothing about the sadness this man is feeling surprises God.
I struggled with what to say to this man. I had no wonderful words of wisdom or comfort for him. I spent most of my time listening to him, and to his broken heart. He only wanted to hear one thing, because that was his longing and his dream, and I couldn't give that to him. Hope deferred has made his heart sick, and all I could do is listen and pray. Christian cliches were not what he needed to hear.
He begged with, pleaded, and sobbed to the woman whom he longs to be his wife again.
He needed to hear that he could have just one last chance in his marriage...
His wife couldn't tell him "yes" because God had told her "no".
---------------------------------------------------
What we see with our earthly eyes is only a small puzzle piece of what is happening in the spiritual realm. God sees the whole picture, and by seeing the big picture, He truly does know what He's doing when he guides us in a direction that doesn't make sense to us...
We don't understand why God says, "no" or "not now", but there is always a reason behind it, and it's because He loves you and wants to protect you from things you have no clue about. Maybe God is working on the other person's heart or preparing the way in things we can't see...
We don't always know why...
So we must simply trust...
What we see with our earthly eyes is only a small puzzle piece of what is happening in the spiritual realm. God sees the whole picture, and by seeing the big picture, He truly does know what He's doing when he guides us in a direction that doesn't make sense to us...
We don't understand why God says, "no" or "not now", but there is always a reason behind it, and it's because He loves you and wants to protect you from things you have no clue about. Maybe God is working on the other person's heart or preparing the way in things we can't see...
We don't always know why...
So we must simply trust...
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6 comments:
I will be praying for your friend.
I think your friend should ask God to carry His burdens. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. God paid for the sin of what He did and did not do. Making himself miserable does nothing. How can he think he is ready to love his wife when he can't even love on his kids? The Lord will help him when he is ready to turn things around. There is hope in the Lord. I pray he finds joy in the Lord. B
Sounds like he is on a path to true brokenness. I will be praying for your friend for a humble and sincere spirit before the Lord, for a true repentance over harm he has caused, and for a beautiful and glorifying new (or renewed?) commitment to Christ. And as hard as this must be for his ex-wife, I pray over her obedience and trust in the One who is telling her to say No.
Hugs to you today!
Lindsey
Heaven, that must have been the hardest conversation ever. I am proud (I know that isn't the right word) that you followed what God has told you to do. You will be blessed in your obedience,and so will he because of it.
Love ya!
Debbie
So we must simply trust.
I fully agree with you. It's just so hard to say that to the person who is hurting. Faith-filled words and Christian cliches are meaningless when you have no hope.
Praying God will use you in this man's life - that you may be a messanger of HOPE.
I'm just so sorry about this situation. No magic words, you're right. Keep praying.
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