"I'm sorry."
...Those two little words etched on a piece of paper lying on my counter this morning totally transformed my thinking and gave me hope again today.
Yesterday was NOT a good day!
I put my foot in my mouth AGAIN and GOSSIPED, hurting a friend, possibly losing a friendship.
I was fighting the "Why's" of my divorce again, leaving me angry at God, and was hurt and lonely.
I didn't get my lesson planned for my class at church so my 2-3 year olds and I simply played.
My mom and I had a not-so-good conversation, so I was done...
I deleted my Facebook because I was just done...
I put my drawings and colored pencils away, deciding I was done with those too.
My car broke and I missed work because it took to long to fix.
I felt defeated and took a nap.
My 12-year old and I fought all night.
I swore...
He swore...
I yelled...
He yelled...
I screamed...
He screamed...
I didn't "tuck" my kids in because I was sooooo mad!
My 8 year old cried himself to sleep because I was too mad to pray with him before he went to sleep.
My 12 year old went to his room for the night and I didn't even bother to check on him the rest of the night.
I turned my ringer off and fell asleep crying...
It was NOT a good night!
I was done!!!
--------------------------
"I'm sorry," my 12-year old wrote...
...Those two little words etched on a piece of paper lying on my counter this morning totally transformed my thinking and gave me hope again today. He had already left for school when I found the note.
So I had my coffee, turned my ringer back on, and stuck that little piece of paper in between the pages of my Bible, where God had me yesterday.
"You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With Your help, I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall." Psalm 18:28-29
That little boy will never know just how much God used him to add oil to my lamp this morning...
TODAY will be good day and I will not give up!
6 comments:
You encourage us all with your journey. You feel the things we feel, and say the things we think. God is using you.
oh darling..thank you for telling the truth about how things really looked in your house last night...i read a blog today that really made me think ...she is single, pregnant and Christian...she is condemned ..she said if everyones sins were as obvious as her belly.... wow
so true...we would really all be surprised check her out..http://littleoneapril.blogspot.com also i love you....dont stop facebook :( or coloring :( or believing :!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"I am sorry"
Those are words of reconciliation and words of hope.
God grants forgiveness and chooses to remember our sin no more.
He offers a restart--do over button.
His mercies are new every single morning.
Praying for you--keep the note in your Bible, reminding you always of His forgiveness!
Heaven,
God is doing such a great work in your life. You have so much going for you. You just started a new ministry. A ministry where you are going to be used by God to speak life into people who need a fresh word from Him. You are an encourager by nature. What better area for satan to try to knock you off your feet. If he can discourage you and cause you to feel like you have nothing to offer anyone else then he's won.
You know all this but sometimes it's better to hear it again. As a natural born encourager myself, you must not let him get one up on you. You have the authority to send him packing back to where he belongs. Walk in that authority. We all fall short and it's ok. It's just not ok to stay down for to long.
Sounds like you have your focus back and that you are moving in the right direction once again. I'm so proud of you.
I'm so glad that you are my friend. Even if it's across the miles.
Your transparency always blows me away. Your heavenly Father loves you. He is your forgiver. He is your help. I will continue to pray for you! Don't give up! Keep on keeping on! The pictures you drew for my kids and I are truly a work of God through you. You are His vessel. And hey I didn't know that you were on faceboook. I only have 19 friends on FB so you have to connect with me.:0)
Heaven,
Please call me if you're having one of those days. I will pray with you.
Tracy
Heaven - I'm sorry you had a tough day. Remember you are the adult and those kids are counting on you! I hope & pray today will indeed be better.
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