As I've grown in my faith, I've learned that one of my gifts is Compassion. It's awesome to be able to encourage other people without giving it another thought. It was always the quality in my mother that I LOVED growing up! She was ALWAYS encouraging other people and ALWAYS had people at our house. I always prayed, "Lord, I don't want to be like my mom, BUT I want a heart like hers!"
If you have teenagers or ever WERE a teenager, then you know that praying a prayer like that is HUGE! At least it was for me, because even though I loved my mom, hello...I was a teenager and um...she was not cool...(at least then she wasn't!) (My friends always thought she was cool though!)
Well, over the years, I am grateful that God gave me the gift I admired most in my mother (and of course, the gift of cleaning & being organized!)
There are times when "caring about others" becomes burdensome. There are times when I get weary of "caring". There are times when the load gets toooooooooooooo hard to carry and I get exhausted from "caring" so much!
When I get overloaded with feeling other people's pain, I have to step back and re-evaluate the situation. Usually, I find that I am "carrying their burden" instead of laying the burden at the feet of Jesus and "caring for them". Then, I realize that I desire their freedom MORE than they desire it, and I realize I'm getting frustrated because I'm putting more prayer and "heart" into their life than they are.
Then....as if that weren't enough revelation...God shows me that I'M TRYING TO FIX the situation, instead of allowing God to fix the situation. Seriously God??? Yep.....
So, how do I know if I'm overloaded with someone else's problems?
1) Well, I feel it physically. I get tired easily. My body usually aches, with either headaches, or stiffness in my neck or shoulders. I then have to decipher: am I worrying about my problems or someone else's? Whatever it may be, I HAVE TO lay it at the feet of Jesus. My shoulders aren't strong enough to bear the weight of the world, whether it's my own issues or other people's issues. I then pray and intentionally BREATHE! I think when we are worried, we tend to hold our breath more, and we deprive ourselves of well-needed oxygen.
2) I'm thinking about this problem over and over and over, and over again! If I'm worried about someone else, I find myself thinking about them often and how they could just solve their situation if they would just ___________ (whatever it may be). If I'm worried about my own issues, that too, consumes my mind. We have to be conscious about what we are thinking about or our minds will spin and spin until we've found our thoughts spinning out of control.
3) I find myself resenting the person I'm "caring" about. I begin to resent the fact that they are choosing not to do what they need to. As I write this, I'm already finding anger rising up in me because I totally "see" the potential this person has, and if they would only_________, then they could overcome this trial in their life, and be able to walk in victory like God wants them too.
O-kay, so you get the idea.
Now...what to do about it!?!?!
It has taken me a couple days to realize what is going on in me, and now after figuring out that I am carrying too much on my shoulders, I need to do something about it. Well, I don't have to, BUT if I don't, then I am CHOOSING to remain irritated, depressed, and overwhelmed.
So, for me, I've had to first of all, PRAY, and PRAY some more. "Lord Jesus, You care about this person WAYYYYYYYYYY more than I do, and so I give You this situation and this person that I have "taken on" and have tried to "fix". I'm sorry for thinking "I" was big enough to "fix" it! I'm sorry for thinking "I" could make this person walk towards you. I give this burden to You, and pray that YOU intercede in this person's life! In Jesus' Name, Amen~"
Since I've done that, I haven't really felt any better, sooooooo...I have been in God's Word, meditating on scripture, listening to teaching CDs, speaking positively, constantly directing my thoughts away from "picking up that burden" again.
I STILL don't feel better after doing that....BUT I know that I know that I know that GOD'S WORD DOES NOT GO VOID! I KNOW that my feelings WILL EVENTUALLY line up with the Word of God! I KNOW that I canNOT live IN my emotions or BY my emotions or I will end up being depressed and worried and full of anxiety.
SO....I continue to pray...
I continue to speak scripture out loud....
I continue to seek God....
...and I continue to give back to God (over and over) my concerns for this person...
...AND I REST IN KNOWING THAT GOD IS ON THE THRONE & STILL IN CONTROL!!!
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3 comments:
Good advice Heaven! A few years ago a man of God told me God was developing 'Compassion' in me. I had filled him in on what I was doing in ministry. I never forgot that statement. It connected an understanding to how God was working in my life. I guess the fruit with you and your Mom did not fall far from the tree! The tree of life! B
This is really a timely blog post. I can so relate to the "If they would only do it my way" syndrome. Thanks for the reminder of what our role is in being compassionate.
You are very wise and very strong. I grew up in a similar situation.
Seems like you figured out what you needed to do to survive.
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