What do you do when your "tree" has been "cut" down?
...when the marriage you waited forever for ends in divorce?
...the job you thought was stable ends?
...the child you raised walks away from God?
...the dream you desire shatters?
...the house or car you owned repossessed?
...the baby you carried dies?
...your financial stability is "earthquaking"?
...when a relationship falls apart?
...when a loved one passes?
...when a parent walks away from his children?
What do you do when the grief is so overwhelming that you drown in your own despair? When you find yourself in a pit so deep and gasping for air? When the world spins rapidly around you while you are stuck in one moment...desperation ... When you're not even sure how you got to this place AGAIN!
I'm here...AGAIN!
I've spent the last week scolding myself for being here AGAIN! I've said the words, "I'm fine" countless times this week. I've slept and slept and slept...
I've rehearsed and rehearsed scenarios over and over again that I can do NOTHING about. Conversations I CANNOT change...
How do you get over "getting over" something?
O-kay, get it together AGAIN! Let go AGAIN! Forgive AGAIN! Pray AGAIN! Crawl up into God's arms AGAIN! Cry my heart out AGAIN!
#1 I've spent a lot of time saying "I" and "me" this week.
#2 I've rehearsed things that 1) I cannot change, and 2) I have to let God take care of.
Two big reasons why I am where I am in this moment.
We are to take EVERY thought captive! And we are to set our mind on things that are ABOVE, not on our circumstances around us. By focusing on God and eternal perspectives, I believe it raises us up into those things of God. By focusing on circumstances, it pulls us down and drags us into the pit of despair planted to trap us.
Oh my bloggy friends, how you must think I am psycho sometimes:) I am ALLOWING myself to be tossed to and fro, rather than being FIXED FIRMLY on the Rock of my God. Sorry, I just truly needed to blog about this, even though ya'all may see my "instability", and think I'm off my rockers:)
I am still in need of a Savior...constantly...all the time. I think what happens is when I am feeling great, I think I can do "life" on my own, and therefore, tread into waters I think I can handle by myself. My emotions then come crashing down because... uh duh... I wasn't meant to go there in the first place.
A couple weeks ago, I told God, "Why does this still hurt so much? Why does it feel like my heart is being ripped out all over again??? Why can't you just heal this so I can get on with my life??? I'm tired of going through this every time he decides to pop in our lives again!"
Funny, yet simple, God we have...
His reply...
"Quit picking at the scab. Quit opening the wound back up. Leave it alone. Don't touch it. I've healed it, but you keep picking off the scab and making it bleed again."
Hmmm...
What situation are you in today that is caused by picking at a "scab"? Leave it alone and let it heal. It will never go away until you leave it to God and quit picking at it!
"In the secret, in the quiet place...
in the stillness, you are there...
in the secret, in the quiet hour I wait
only for you, I want to know you more...
...Pressing onward,
pushing every hindrance aside,
out of my way..."
Lord, I just want to know you more!
Thank you for not giving up on us...
9 comments:
Um, yes sometimes we pick the scab...but sometimes the wound underneath is a feastering infection, so the scab must come off so we can get rid of the infection, so the scab can come back & heal. So figure out which place you are...are you picking off a healthy scab or an infected scab.
Counseling cures infections. LOL! (voice of experience here).
Very true Kelly!
You're not psycho!
I don't think your psycho either. Nor am I, and I've been to counseling...lots. LOL!
Not in quite the same situation as you but I spent all day yesterday crying my eyes out and calling to God because I was being tossed to and fro like you.
I had my eyes on the storm instead of on Him and couldn't *find* Him to fix my eyes on Him. As soon as Peter called out for help, Jesus lifted Him up from drowning but they were still in the water (together) in the storm. Then He helped Peter into the boat and the storm stopped.
Not sure why I wrote all that but I see that He did the same for me yesterday and it looks like maybe He did the same for you.
Sorry I haven't been by lately. Much love to you!
I don't think you are psycho either. We're not so different. :)
I don't know much about scabs but this is interesting you have this tree cut at the base. B
Just to add my two cents, I don't think you are psycho either. I do the same thing. God gives me a way to deal with something, but I am the one who keeps turning back to look one more time. You have been on my mind this week, even though I haven't stalked your blog too much. Trying to wrap up end of the year stuff. I have already read the Better post and I am glad you are dancing back into the Light. Have a fantastic birthday!
I understand open raw wounds. I think God lets me go through seasons of letting things heal. And I also pick at it.
Thank you for being so honest. May God heal your deepest wounds.
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