That which is past...

"...but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me...One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:12b-14

Forget- stop remembering, dismiss from the mind, be unable to remember, to neglect willfully, to cease remembering, to omit mentioning, to lose the remembrance of, to let go from the memory, not to think of, to lose the power of (Quoted from Dictionary.com)

My LONG paraphrase of the above verse, along with the definition of forget is this: "I have to go forward, and I have to let go of the past in order to do that. This is what I do: I choose to stop remembering the old person that I was. I willfully neglect those nagging thoughts which say 'I'm not good enough'. I omit my past failures from my vocabulary. I let go of the memories which try to haunt me. I DO NOT dwell on or think of those things which are covered under the blood of Jesus. Yesterday is gone. I quit living in yesterday! I understand the cost of Jesus' sacrifice on the cross, and I'm not going to dismiss His grace and forgiveness by choosing to destroy myself with memories of the horrible person I used to be. Jesus died for me, He was beaten and chose to give up His life, not only so that I could have eternal life and a new life, but also that I wouldn't have to torture myself with all my mistakes. Therefore, I AM PRESSING ON, I AM moving forward, I AM reaching into my future and taking hold of EVERYTHING that God has for me. I will NOT let the enemy defeat me with his torment and lies by reliving my past, but I strain toward seeing the person God made me in His image, because THAT is who I am!!!"

I can forgive many people, and I have throughout my life. I've forgiven abusers, and users, and people who have done horrific things...yet...it is hard to forgive myself. Over the past few weeks, God has really been speaking to me about not letting my past hold me back. I've been afraid to go forward and to quit going around the mountain because I've believed these nagging thoughts:

"You will always let God down, why even try? You will always fall short of what God wants you to do! Why in the world would God forgive you again? You're never going to get it right, just look at this and this and this....You are definitely on the verge of losing God's forgiveness because you are constantly doing wrong. You'll never measure up or become a "good" Christian. You're just a failure. How can you teach Sunday School or be on the worship team when you can't even control your own kids or ever 'get it right' in your life? You're a fake and a joke and a hypocrite, you may as well walk away from everything..."

Some of these comments are a little bold, but when you don't truly understand God's forgiveness, you can't forgive yourself. That's when the enemy comes in and slowly gets you to believe the condemning thoughts above. We get ourselves wrapped in "religion", which most of us grew up in (My mother's favorite was: 'Vengeance is mine saith the Lord!!!' God's wrath is worse than mine!')

My mother did the best she could, and passed on the judgment she believed to be truth. I grew up believing that God was going to run around with lightning until He could finally strike me. I pictured a mean, old daddy, sitting up in heaven, snapping His belt, just waiting for me to screw up. He loved me when I was good, but I had better watch out if I was bad! Anytime that anything bad happened, it was because of God's wrath. Unfortunately, early in my parenting, I planted this image in my children's hearts. Sadly, I found myself recently, portraying that image to my 12-year old son. I instantly felt God say,

"I love Zachary. Why in the world would you say that? That is not me, Heaven. I love you and I adore your children and I only want the best for you! Zachary is not going to lose my love if he's not where YOU think he should be. My beautiful daughter, you don't have to worry about losing my love either! I cherish you! I may correct you, but I will never punish you. I want you to find out the truth about my love and forgiveness..."

We had a special speaker on Sunday, who gave an illustration of God's forgiveness that brought me to tears. He pretended that He was God and he was writing in the Lamb's book of life. A man from the audience was to come up three times and take His pen, but each time ask for forgiveness. This is the dialogue:

Man takes God's pen...

God says, "Please give my pen back."

Man says, "I'm sorry God. Will you forgive me?"

God says, "Yes, I forgive you."

Man takes God's pen again...The same dialogue occurs again.

Man takes God's pen a third time...

God says, "please give my pen back."

Man says, "I'm sorry God. Will you forgive me AGAIN?"

God says, "What do you mean again? It's the first time you took my pen, of course, I forgive you!"

Psalm 103:10-12 [God] does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His love for those who fear Him; 12 as far as the east is to the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us."

That is the God we serve, and that is the God who loves us and forgives us, and remembers our sins no more...

I just found this on YouTube. It is Mark Hall from Casting Crowns doing a short teaching on their song "East to the West". Brought me to tears:)

Here is the music video of this song:

So, let's press on, leaving the past behind us, and take hold of ALL that God has for our future...




~Learning about the God who forgives~