June 12, 2010

Sweet surrender...


God painted me a sunset...

with many vibrant colors.

Blues, purples, pinks, & orange.

To remind me of HIS faithfulness!!!

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God taught me to trust a little deeper

as I sobbed before Him...

laying out MY desires, MY wants, MY way...

So I could finally have HIS!!!

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God taught me to pray a little harder

as I prayed for them to succeed...

knowing that I would never be part of it!

He taught me unselfish love!

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God taught me to let go of those I hold tight

so He could hold them tighter!!!

I sobbed and began to trust...

as I watched the boys I love the most walk away.

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The picture above was the sunset last night as I took my boys to spend a week with their daddy and his new family. As I slowly watched the sun go down and the colors turn, I KNEW God was showing me that everything was going to be fine...

I just did not know how great it would be.

On the way home, as I stared at the interstate before me, the road lighted only by the sight of my headlights...I felt peace...I felt love...I felt joy...I felt pain...I felt regret... I felt anger...I felt gratitude...I felt tears...hot burning tears...I felt peace again...

I sorted through emotions with my Daddy like I have never done before...with a new level of trust...a new level of understanding...with new eyes...with new ears...and a new heart...a new level of surrender!

Forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness...

There is such FREEDOM in that!!!

I gave up my "rights"...

AGAIN...

For God's PERFECT will for MY life!
For God's PERFECT will for my ex-husband's life!
For God's PERFECT will for his new wife's life!
For God's PERFECT will for our boys' lives...
and her boys' lives!

I'm ready for God to take over my future...
& ready to walk wherever He wants to take me...

I'm yours God!

Sweet surrender...

3 comments:

Debbie Giese said...

Oh Heaven, that is so not where you wanted to be. And yet, as you praise God for what He is doing in all of your lives, the freedom is so sweet. I will join you in praying for God's working to be done. You have changed so much since you last were their dad, and your boys will show evidence to him and his new family of what God can do. As one mom to another, I feel your pain. And as one mom to another, enjoy your quiet week, lol! Love ya, sister!!

MTJ said...

Hello Heaven,

As a parent, I have often been reminded that, "He must increase, I must decrease".

I thank God that He gives us the grace to forgive and I praise Him for His infinite love.

May you always grow in His love and grace.

I like your new blog design. It conveys peace and tranquility to me.

MTJ

NanaNor's said...

Blessings to you Heaven, I haven't stopped by very much but was so touched by this post and by your heart seeking the Father in all ways and in all things. My heart broke for you and yet His fruit will be birthed in this. With our Lord, nothing is wasted but everything is redeemed.
As a mom and nana I'm sending big hugs to you today.
Noreen

Who am I Lord?

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