I need some level ground.
& I know God is the only One who can give that.
I have a pattern of high's...
and then low's...
I'm "up" and feeling good...
then I'm "down" and feeling icky...
I usually can appear to have it "together",
and usually can pass off
"having it all together"...
But I do not feel very together!
I feel worthless...
meaningless...
and like I am a disappointment.
All I want to do is sleep and
keep to myself.
These are the days when I have to
bathe in God's Word, the Holy Bible.
Because on these days...
I am led by my feelings...
and my feelings lead me astray...
because that's how feelings are.
These are the days I have to
cling to what God says about me,
because on these days...
I do not feel it...
I fall very short...
I look in the mirror...
and I see failure.
I was conditioned as I grew up that Christians should always "have it together", should never show anger, & never complain. Well, that may work for other people, but not well for me anymore! I used to feel guilty that I could not hold it all together. So I just smiled in public, and cried behind close doors.
But THEN I used to use the liberty I had to tell everyone all my woes and let-downs because...well...I was not going to be a fake Christian. Oh boy oh boy, talk about a discouraging person to be around!
So over the past few years, I have really tried to find the balance between the two. What a hard journey that has been. For the most part, I am landing on the side of "I can't hold it together, so I will just isolate myself instead!" Deep in my heart, I know this place does not bring freedom, but just more isolation. After I go through something, I realize, "Wow, if I could have just admitted _______was what I was feeling, I could have gotten through this faster and easier."
Sometimes I do not always know what is bothering me. Sometimes it is a chemical high and low mood thing, but more often than not, it is a spiritual journey, as well as a thought journey. I have to ask myself: "What have I been thinking about???"
Ahhhhhh........
I usually find a "key" when I ask that question.
As I wrote that question, I immediately got an answer in my head!
First thought: "I cannot compete with_______"
Second thought: "I must be 'less than'".
Third thought: "I will never measure up."
Fourth thought: "No one will ever want me."
If I would just take those thoughts as they come,
and combat them right away with the Word of God,
I probably would not end up down-spiraling.
Here's the thing though...
I do speak scripture to those thoughts...
& they go away...
BUT then they come back...
I speak scripture again...
they come back AGAIN...
"Oh Well...I guess maybe they are true!"
"Yep, you're stupid...& fat...&....."
UM...Hello!?!?!?!?!?!
Where in the Bible does it say that
I'm stupid and fat and that I will never measure up???????
I believe it says,
"You have the mind of Christ!!!"
"I chose you!!!"
"I cherish you!!!"
"You're an heir to my throne, my Princess!"
"You were bought at a price...I love you!"
"I carved you on the palm of my hand!"
"You are a new creation."
"I rejoice over you with singing!"
"I will never leave you!"
"You are more than a conqueror!"
CONSISTENCY!!!!!!
If you are a parent, you may hear that word a LOT!
You have to be consistent in disciplining your children
or consistent in sticking to rules and so forth.
At a job, you have to be consistent,
showing up for work daily...AND on time.
Doing your work, etc.
We have to be consistent in our thought life!
We have to be consistent in taking our thoughts captive!
We have to be consistent in SPEAKING LIFE
to our lives and into the lives of others!
Consistency of biblical truth...
makes the lies become smaller & smaller!!!
You're STUPID!!!
No, I have the mind of CHRIST, thank you!
You're WORTHLESS!!!
No, I was bought at a PRICE & I'm redeemed!
You will NEVER be "good enough"!!!
I am enough in Christ Jesus!
No one loves you & you will always be alone!!!
God loves me & He will NEVER leave me!!!
You're pathetic!
"Whatever! I'm a daughter of
the most high KING!!!"
Be consistent...
You know the lies!
You hear them over and over in your head!
Find scripture that says the
opposite of what the enemy tells you!
That is how he is defeated!!!
That is your sword in the battle
for your mind!!!
Use it!!!
& I know God is the only One who can give that.
I have a pattern of high's...
and then low's...
I'm "up" and feeling good...
then I'm "down" and feeling icky...
I usually can appear to have it "together",
and usually can pass off
"having it all together"...
But I do not feel very together!
I feel worthless...
meaningless...
and like I am a disappointment.
All I want to do is sleep and
keep to myself.
These are the days when I have to
bathe in God's Word, the Holy Bible.
Because on these days...
I am led by my feelings...
and my feelings lead me astray...
because that's how feelings are.
These are the days I have to
cling to what God says about me,
because on these days...
I do not feel it...
I fall very short...
I look in the mirror...
and I see failure.
I was conditioned as I grew up that Christians should always "have it together", should never show anger, & never complain. Well, that may work for other people, but not well for me anymore! I used to feel guilty that I could not hold it all together. So I just smiled in public, and cried behind close doors.
But THEN I used to use the liberty I had to tell everyone all my woes and let-downs because...well...I was not going to be a fake Christian. Oh boy oh boy, talk about a discouraging person to be around!
So over the past few years, I have really tried to find the balance between the two. What a hard journey that has been. For the most part, I am landing on the side of "I can't hold it together, so I will just isolate myself instead!" Deep in my heart, I know this place does not bring freedom, but just more isolation. After I go through something, I realize, "Wow, if I could have just admitted _______was what I was feeling, I could have gotten through this faster and easier."
Sometimes I do not always know what is bothering me. Sometimes it is a chemical high and low mood thing, but more often than not, it is a spiritual journey, as well as a thought journey. I have to ask myself: "What have I been thinking about???"
Ahhhhhh........
I usually find a "key" when I ask that question.
As I wrote that question, I immediately got an answer in my head!
First thought: "I cannot compete with_______"
Second thought: "I must be 'less than'".
Third thought: "I will never measure up."
Fourth thought: "No one will ever want me."
If I would just take those thoughts as they come,
and combat them right away with the Word of God,
I probably would not end up down-spiraling.
Here's the thing though...
I do speak scripture to those thoughts...
& they go away...
BUT then they come back...
I speak scripture again...
they come back AGAIN...
"Oh Well...I guess maybe they are true!"
"Yep, you're stupid...& fat...&....."
UM...Hello!?!?!?!?!?!
Where in the Bible does it say that
I'm stupid and fat and that I will never measure up???????
I believe it says,
"You have the mind of Christ!!!"
"I chose you!!!"
"I cherish you!!!"
"You're an heir to my throne, my Princess!"
"You were bought at a price...I love you!"
"I carved you on the palm of my hand!"
"You are a new creation."
"I rejoice over you with singing!"
"I will never leave you!"
"You are more than a conqueror!"
CONSISTENCY!!!!!!
If you are a parent, you may hear that word a LOT!
You have to be consistent in disciplining your children
or consistent in sticking to rules and so forth.
At a job, you have to be consistent,
showing up for work daily...AND on time.
Doing your work, etc.
We have to be consistent in our thought life!
We have to be consistent in taking our thoughts captive!
We have to be consistent in SPEAKING LIFE
to our lives and into the lives of others!
Consistency of biblical truth...
makes the lies become smaller & smaller!!!
You're STUPID!!!
No, I have the mind of CHRIST, thank you!
You're WORTHLESS!!!
No, I was bought at a PRICE & I'm redeemed!
You will NEVER be "good enough"!!!
I am enough in Christ Jesus!
No one loves you & you will always be alone!!!
God loves me & He will NEVER leave me!!!
You're pathetic!
"Whatever! I'm a daughter of
the most high KING!!!"
Be consistent...
You know the lies!
You hear them over and over in your head!
Find scripture that says the
opposite of what the enemy tells you!
That is how he is defeated!!!
That is your sword in the battle
for your mind!!!
Use it!!!
3 comments:
Thank you, Heaven!!
LOVE YOU!!
Great words. Thank you for sharing. In our weakness, He is strong. It's Him in us that is greater than all that can come against us. We do have His mind. AMEN!!!
Blessings!
Hi Heaven,
May I borrow your words? God is having me put together a message on lies and truth. This is sooo helpful if I can use something that an actual person feels...I won't use your name.
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