Weekly Ramblings

Adios to another week past, and aloha to the coming week before me... Thank you for the encouraging words from my last post. I love you gals:)

Wow, this -very emotional- week is over! Whew!

And, another -very emotional- week is on its way! Oh my!

But God is still the same God I served and praised when my life was smooth sailing. He still remains on the scene: clearing the unnecessary debris from my path, prepared to attend to the emotional wounds of my heart, ready and quick to work, being well-equipped to handle each and every crisis part of His plan that comes my way. Hallelujah!!!

I look back at the past 7 days, and feel like I totally wasted my time worrying and filling my heart with anxiety. The "what if's" and the "why's" and the doubting of my past forgiveness ruled my mind. Or so I thought...

I drew closer to God this week. I kneeled more at HIS throne. I fasted for the first time. I drew and did more artwork than I have in weeks. I sought out scripture after scripture. I talked on the phone less and spent more time in the Word of God seeking His peace and presence. I stayed home more, visiting more with God than with friends. I made more home-made meals for my family because we weren't out "running around".

I can look at all the things I did wrong this week (which would make me feel defeated), or I can look at all the ways God used my actions to draw me closer to Him.

My poor friends feel neglected as I haven't spend much time on the phone or in person with them. BUT, I am ALWAYS on the phone, seeking THEIR advice, THEIR comfort, THEIR direction, THEIR thoughts...This week, I sought those things directly from God...even though I have AMAZING friends!
God has truly blessed me with amazing people in my life, yet this week, the only One I wanted to spend time with was HIM!!!

The time I spent filled with worry and anxiety totally was not necessary; however, I had to spend time with God until His peace "shot down" those negative feelings.

Anyone who doesn't think God has a sense of humor really needs to walk a week in my shoes. I love the fact that God ordains things perfectly!

Friday, July 3, I woke up and started a new medicine to help me to stay awake throughout the day. (For whatever reason, I was tired ALL the time, and had to nap EVERY single day in order to even function). Within an hour of taking it, I was feeling great, filled with energy, and ready to go, go, go! Within an hour and 5 minutes, I received a phone call that shook my world.

Within two hours, I was totally ready to sleep and hide away in my dreams. Sleeping has also always been my comfort, my way to "cope with life. When life gets hard, I sleep...

Ha!!! So the past week, I have been wide awake, forced to deal with the issues at hand, face myself and my past...(did I mention I had to do this being "wide awake"???) It's funny because one day I really just wanted to sleep and take a nap. I lay on the couch while my boys entertained theirselves (they're 9 and 13), and forced myself to sleep. It took me a half hour to fall asleep and I only was able to sleep for 40 minutes. THAT totally is NOT me (without meds). I usually lay my head on the pillow, say, "Thank you God for sleep", and zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, I'm out, no problem.

So, God totally ordained the fact that He wanted me to deal with life this week, instead of sleeping through it:)

Are you tired of reading yet? I'm tired of writing:) I need a nap! (lol, just kidding...well...not really)

Ahhhh....God is good. Despite whatever comes out way, God is good! He's beside us through it all. Even before it even touches us, God weeds out the worst of it, and lets the rest enter our world. That means that He totally knows what He's doing, He knows how He will use those things He allows into our life, and God knows that the enemy will not be able to destroy us or our testimony through the things he tries to throw at us. The key is staying near to God, listening to His heart, and seeking the God who created us. Jesus Christ died for our transgressions, and for our guilt and shame and condemnation...therefore, by us holding onto those things which He has already forgiven us of, we are saying, "Sorry, Jesus, the blood You shed isn't good enough for me. I'm just tooooo bad. You're going to have to shed more blood in order to cover my faults."

That totally sounds insane and insensitive, yet we do that more often that most would admit. It may not be worded the same, but our actions say, "I can't be forgiven," therefore, canceling out what Jesus did on the cross... Learn to walk in the forgiveness and grace that God offers through the sacrifice of His son, Jesus Christ...

So, as I face another week of unanswered questions and uncertainties, I choose to draw nearer to God, (and also back to my friends). Thank you God for Your unfailing love and for walking in front of, beside, and behind us in this journey we call life...

In His awesome Grip, Heaven