Daddy's eyes

Life has never has been and it never will be about us and our rights; however, somewhere in life's journey, we believed the lie that said it is "all about me". This week, I made a horrible comment to my sister about a woman regarding the line of work she does. We're not talking about a "little bad" comment, we're talking about the "Oh-my-goodness-you-call-yourself-a-Christian-!-How-could-you-even-say-such-a-thing" comment.

I knew, in my heart, that once I said those words, I could never take them back. I was speaking truth...or at least believed I was. Because of past hurts, I felt a right to say what I did. For about a year, I have harbored animosity toward her because of her occupation, and the way she mishandled her beauty.

I quietly obliged my sister as she gave me a lecture over the phone about my comment, when suddenly, I felt the "look". Now, every parent has a "look", and every child knows exactly what that "look" means. In different families, it means different things; however, when I get the "look", it's from my Heavenly Father. (It is the expression I sense from God, that if I could truly see His eyes, that's what they would look like)

Ewww! I don't like the "look" because that "look" meant that I did something wrong. I tried ignoring it, because then I would have to take back what I just said, and I was not about to do that. "I'm sorry, God," I thought, "but my comment was totally justified! You call us to speak 'sin as it is' and that's just what I did." (CAUTION: Do not attempt this in your own prayer life. You will reap what you sow!)

Ignoring the "look" does NOT work. The parent's look just gets stronger and more piercing. If their eyes could inflict physical correction upon the child, rays of "Don't you make me come over there!" would be flying across the room.

"But God!" I said. "You've seen everything I've gone through, and you know why I said this and...(excuse after excuse trying to defend my sin)...I have EVERY right to say what I did!" (Ooh, ouch...Here comes the part where the parent stands up, starts walking towards you, and you know that you are IN trouble!)

"Right??? It is your right is to slander one of my precious children??? Since when are you anyone's God or Holy Spirit??? And what makes you the Judge of her life??? Have I not called you to love, and build up people? Did I not love you when I found you in the miry clay? Did I not give you grace everytime you fell? Did I not bring you through that hurtful situation? Did I ever give you permission in my Word to say what you just said?"

Don't get me wrong. God is a loving and just God. He is soooooo graceful and full of mercy, but we would be lying to ourselves if we said God was just a bunch of "mushy-gushy" feelings. He disciplines those He loves, calling them to maturity, allowing situations to arise so we can be pruned.

I think God has a point where He gets tired of the same thing over and over. Based on examples in the Bible (Sodom and Gomorrah, Noah and the flood, Jonah refusing to go to Ninevah and getting swallowed by a whale), I believe He eventually says, "That's enough of that (attitude, disobedience, behavior, abuse, etc.). We need to deal with this now, not later."

Well, this was my moment, face-to-face with God. I couldn't hide, and I couldn't justify my actions. MY wrong had been called out, and my sin had been called sin. Once again, God brought me to repentance because of His great love for me, so that the work done on the cross would not be in vain.

~Lord, mold me and finish this work in me that You have started. I strive to be more like You, yet I still fall so short. Help me to walk in Your ways and plans for my life, and help me to love and see others with Your eyes and heart. May I have more of You, so there will be less of me! Thank you again for the cross. In Jesus' name, Amen~