August 30, 2011

No Husband??? Like forever???

"O God, you are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
my soul thirsts for you,
my body longs for you,
in a dry and weary land
where there is no HUSBAND???

Psalm 63:1

If you are familiar with the above Bible passage, you will recognize that the word HUSBAND has replaced the word WATER.

" body longs for you...where there is no water."

I've spent many of my adult years single. I was married for four years, but separated for 2 1/2 of those four years.

When I was a little girl, I wanted to grow up and be a doctor, a wife, and a mommy. I became a mommy first. I never became a doctor. My dream as a wife fizzled shortly after I said, "I do."

In the good times of my marriage, I loved being a wife. I loved cooking, taking care of the kids and house, and greeting my husband at the door. I loved the companionship and friendship. I loved the kissing and hand-holding and romance. I loved the dream of what I envisioned a marriage to be.

When times got hard, I still loved being a wife. When times got even harder, I still longed to be his wife. When things were totally dissolved, I still wanted to be a wife. After being divorced for 2 1/2 years, I still long to be someone's wife again someday.

Several months ago, God asked me if I would give Him my desire to be a wife.

I agreed and said, "Yes, God." (of course after many tears)

The last week, I have been observing couples who are in love. The "newly dating" couples. The "50 year anniversary" couples. The "Best Friend" couples.

I have found myself longing for that.


And so the wording for the above scripture was birthed...

What are you longing for today? A relationship? A job promotion? A dream? A desire? Children?

What if another husband is not in God's plan for my life? What if I'm meant to go solo until I die or until Jesus returns? Can I be o-kay with that? Will I be o-kay with that? Will I still love God the same? Will I still trust Him with my heart?

Yes. I will. And I do.

Because I know He holds my world in His hands.

So, what do I do with my desires when they come? What do I do when that dream invades my heart and longs to be fulfilled?

I go back to God and proclaim:

"O God, you are my God,

earnestly I(CHOOSE TO) seek you;

my soul(CHOOSES TO) thirst for you,

my body (CHOOSES TO) long for you,

in a dry and weary land

where there is no water_(your dream here)__

Psalm 63:1


Mari said...

Just like I said, "God is preparing my heart for its desires." Sounds like He is preparing you too! Thanks for stopping by. Mari

Ella said...

I have also longed for my Divine spouse....and waited actively...and still no you so eloquently shared it is a choice to put our desire in God's hands. Since we are human, we have our strong days, our weak days..that is as it should be, we are not robots void of heart.

If you're interested, here's a post I wrote on this subject:

Thank you for being "real" and sharing that with us.

Who am I Lord?

1 Chronicles 17:16 Then  King David went in and sat before the Lord, and he said: "Who am I, Lord God, and what is my family, that you...