"I'm good, thanks." (But really, I'm not!)

"Hey, I'm at the store and I'm wondering what you need," my friend's voice declares confidently on the other end of the phone.


"I'm good, thanks. I appreciate you asking! That was so sweet of you." (This tends to be a "pat" answer for me...you know...because if I did need something, I seldom would let anyone know.)


"Um...I asked you what you needed." She firmly stated.

------------------------------------------------

This is my friend, "L", who ALWAYS calls at the PERFECT moment with the simple question, "What's up?"

Now this could be just a general "how are ya?" question, but with "L", that question comes with the interpretation (implied, yet unspoken) : "God placed you on my heart just now. What's going on? How can I pray for you?"

This is also my friend, "L", who provided my "Mint green box of tissues" I wrote about HERE.

This is also my friend, "L", who shows up at my door, at the exact time that I'm praying about a need I have, with the needed item.

--------------------------------------------

As I heard her question me the second time, my mind began to replay the scenario of my quiet time with God earlier this week.

"God, these are the items I know I will run out of before I get paid again. I do not know what to do. I have no more money coming in & these are my essentials. Please provide." I wrote the list down in my prayer journal, and I continued on with my day knowing He would provide.

From the time she asked me what I needed until the time I answered her was probably only a few seconds, but it seemed like forever as I began to talk to myself and to God. I felt a "God conversation" coming on:

"You asked ME to provide, right?"

"Yes Lord, but why do I have to tell her? That's so embarrassing! Why can't you just tell "L" what I need? I dislike being 'needy'".

"Because, dear child. I'm teaching you a new thing."

"O-kay. Fine."

------------------------------------------

"I could use some toilet paper." I shyly sputtered out the words.

"O-kay, sounds good. I'll drop it off later," She said.

"Thank you SO much "L". You're an answer to my prayer!"

------------------------------------------

I LOVE being the one that can bless someone else! I LOVE being the "giver"!

I struggle with "NEEDING"! Ugh! I just want to give, give, give!

------------------------------------------

I think back to the other people who have recently asked what they can do for me. I get sad because I have been too prideful to tell them I'm in need. I have been doing so well financially over the past year and I feel like I'm stepping backward by asking for help. I have stole the blessing from them because they just wanted to bless me. It makes me sad because I get sad when I don't know how to bless someone else.

Sigh.

Thank you Jesus for another teaching moment.

I could not bring myself to ask for anything else on my "list". I was prideful. I was ashamed. I felt "less than". I felt "needy" and that's not a comfortable place for me to be.

Sigh.

When someone asks you what you need, they want to bless you. They want to truly reach out and help. Allow them to be there for you. Don't steal their blessing from them. Whether it's a meal, or an offer to babysit, or tangible items, or an offer to help clean your house, or even if you need prayer.

God is faithful to provide!

Blessings friends!